Complicated Desire

Chapter One

Jackson thought he would disappear under the cloak of night, but Bianca saw it from their bedroom window. The dip on his side of the bed stirred her awake, but she'd kept her eyes closed and remained still.

It wasn't uncommon for Jackson to leave the bedroom in the middle of the night, busying himself with work or television after only a few hours of sleep. Bianca would always awake, but she knew when she heard the front door close twenty minutes after getting out of bed that this night was different.

So she watched.

Watched as he put suitcases in the trunk of their SUV, jumped as he slammed the back shut. Then it happened. He looked up at the house they'd shared for only three years, after ditching the apartment they'd had together because they wanted a bigger place to start a family.

Jackson's gaze connected with her own, and she could see the glistening in the light of the moon. Leaving her was something he did with a heavy heart, but despite Bianca's love for him, they'd begun to realize over the last several months that love wasn't always enough.

An ectopic pregnancy their first year of marriage.

A miscarriage their second.

And one year ago, she finally carried nearly to term before giving birth to a stillborn.

It seemed to be the final straw for both of them; an unspoken agreement they should give up.

Bianca was becoming a bitter woman who hated her own body for failing her. She hated herself for not being able to give her, or her husband, a baby. Because of her despair, she'd missed her twin brother's wedding. Too soon for celebrations when she'd lost her baby only a week before. And because of her bitterness, she could not bring herself to find happiness for her brother when he announced his bride's pregnancy to the family only two months after her final loss.

In her misery, Bianca's marriage crumpled around her, and she couldn't find the energy or will to save it.

When his gaze broke from hers, Jackson slid into the driver's seat, slamming the final door, and drove away from the life they'd tried to build.

As much as Bianca wanted to be angry as she watched the SUV pull out of the driveway, she couldn't muster up the emotion. It was easy to be angry about so many things in her life, but not at him. Jackson had done his best to console her through the first loss, and the second. She couldn't blame him for being as broken as her as they suffered their third, and apparently final, loss. Bianca couldn't even blame him for losing the courage to end this face to face, like she'd suspected he'd wanted to do for the last week.

The final look he'd given her before driving away was a look full of a sorrow that matched her own. Bianca loved that man. And despite Jackson leaving her, she knew he loved her back. Any other woman would have felt it cowardly to leave in the middle of the night, and maybe it was, but she could also see in his eyes that it was breaking him to give up.

Love wasn't enough to save them.

Now here she was at twenty-five, soon to be divorced and apparently barren.

Bianca left the window, and crawled back into bed, sleeping in the middle so it wouldn't feel quite as empty.