Complicated Desire

Chapter Twenty-Five

Six Months Later

Bianca stepped into her parents' home, and for the first time in her life, it felt like such a foreign place. She'd never knocked on the door until then, and never stepped through it without getting the feeling of home. Now, it just felt like a house.

"I wasn't sure if you were going to show," her dad admitted.

She ran her fingers through her freshly cut hair and licked her lips. "I wasn't sure if I would either. Must have driven down the street six times before I parked."

Her dad stood before her, looking so much older than he had only six months prior. "I'm happy you're here, Bianca. I mean that."

It was hard to trust his words. She was here because her dad asked her to come. It took her two months to force herself to pick a time and date. They spoke once a week on the phone for those two months, keeping the conversations brief.

Bianca knew well of her mom and dad's relationship status. A week after the fight, her mom and dad sat down and had a talk. She wasn't told about everything, because it was personal, but her mom decided they could work through their issues. They'd spent the last six months in marriage counseling.

After three months, they began family counseling, with Matt and Kara joining in. Small steps adding family members to work on their issues little by little.

Once the phone calls began, her mother moved back in.

So, now it was Bianca's turn. Truth was, it was her turn two months ago, but she'd done everything in her power to put it off. If it weren't for her mother, she probably wouldn't have been here at all. She had made no promises for today, only that she would go see her father, and find out if a relationship with him was something she even wanted anymore. If she did, she'd join family therapy. If she didn't, maybe they could at least be civil toward one another for the sake of the rest of the family.

He rubbed at his beard before taking a step back. "You look different, somehow."

"I am different. I'm happy."

"I can see that. Your mother told me the two of you are moving in together. Bought a new house and everything."

Bianca nodded, keeping her eyes on her shoes rather than the man in front of her. "A farmhouse just outside of the city. They completed renovations last week. The movers are unloading everything now, so it seemed like a good of a time as any to come over here."

When she noticed his feet walk away, Bianca glanced up just as he dropped himself into the dining room chair. "I never should have said those things to you, Bianca. I was angry, and hurt, and I took it out on you. When I looked at the two of you that night, I couldn't let myself see two people in love, because it didn't make any sense. Kade wasn't my friend, or my son's father-in-law. He was a man who took advantage of my daughter. It was the only way I could make sense of it.

"You were right. I had my head up my ass, and I was too damn stubborn. You'll never know how sorry I am about that."

Bianca dropped her purse on the floor and stepped further into the house. "I don't know if I can trust you anymore, dad. If I let you back in my life, how can I trust you won't hurt me again once you actually have to face this relationship? How can I trust you won't object at our wedding and cause a scene?"

"You're marrying him?" Her father's question wasn't spoken in anger, but rather in bewilderment. Like he'd missed so much more of her life than six months.

"He hasn't proposed yet, but I know he wants to." Kade had brought up marriage a few times just that week, once the renovations had been completed on the house. He liked the idea of moving in as a newly engaged couple, but there were things that Bianca had to sort out first.

One thing, really. This thing.

Her father nodded. "The only way you'll be able to trust me is if you both give me a chance to prove myself. We can start by the two of you coming over next weekend for a family dinner and work our way up from there. If you're ready, that is."

Bianca could read between the lines. She'd never stopped being a part of her family, despite her father's words that night, but she had stopped being his family. He was asking her now to become his family once again. "I honestly don't know if I'm ready for that. I'll need a few days to think about it."

"I understand," her father spoke in a solemn tone. "Take all the time you need, sweetheart. The door is always open. To both of you. I'm sorry I ever made you feel otherwise."

It wasn't that he made her feel she wasn't welcome, he'd flat out told her she wasn't welcome. All those little comments had been floating around in her brain for the last six months, and that wasn't an easy thing to turn off and forget.

She'd come here because Kade had encouraged her to make amends if her father was indeed remorseful, and because her mother wouldn't move back in until her father at least tried to make things right. Bianca could see it in his eyes that the evening all those months ago still plagued him, just as it did her.

Bianca still wasn't certain if her relationship with her father could be mended. Kade had told her he didn't want her to regret leaving words unspoken, but it was the words that had been spoken that were laced with regret. She couldn't un-hear all the terrible things that night, and only time could tell if she'd be able to move on from them.

"I should go. I'm supposed to meet Kade at the new house."

Her father gave a small, slow nod, then stood from his chair. "Please tell him 'hello' for me, and let him know I'd like to apologize to him in person, if he's willing. "

"I'll tell him," Bianca agreed.

The truth was that Kade had been willing since the very beginning. It was Bianca who'd been dragging her heels, despite her mother asking her to do this for the last two months. But now that the two of them were about to move in together, it seemed like as close to the right time as any; if only to finish closing the last chapter of her life before starting another.

But as Bianca gave her father a polite smile goodbye, she couldn't bring herself to feel the same way she did about him before. He was somewhere between a stranger and the uncle who shows up to family gatherings once every five years or so. She didn't know how to talk to him anymore; to open up as she always used to. Maybe that feeling would change, and the bond would mend if she decided to let him close enough. But for now, things still just felt broken.