Complicated Desire

Chapter Two

SIX MONTHS LATER

There were no issues in the divorce. Besides actually having to go through one, it surprised Bianca how smoothly it all went.

Despite Jackson being the primary breadwinner in the household after losing her second child, he never once threw that in her face. His lawyer tried to, more than once, but Jackson shut him down every time. In fact, every single time Jackson's lawyer tried to paint Bianca in a negative light, he'd get shut down by her now ex.

He wasn't trying to win at anything, instead insisting that everything be cut right down the middle. There wasn't much to make on selling the house, as they'd barely paid off anything in the last two years, but Jackson insured that half the money in his bank account went into her own.

Unfortunately, starting over in this city was expensive. Jackson and she opted to elope when they got married. So the money that both sets of parents would have given for a wedding ended up going toward their down payment. Though her mother offered her money again for a smaller house, Bianca knew her parents were trying to retire soon, so she declined.

Declining, however, ended up causing her to live under their roof for the first time since high school. Bianca didn't know how being treated like a child again was prematurely aging her, but suspected she'd be getting her first grey hairs any time now.

Her father had given her a curfew again. It wasn't too big a deal since she rarely felt like going anywhere anyhow, but the fact that she had to be home by eleven at night if she did decide to go anywhere blew her mind. And a curfew only scratched the surface.

"You okay, kiddo?"

Although she was only three minutes younger than her twin brother, Matt, he'd been calling her 'kiddo' since they were children. She remembered how it used to annoy the hell out of her, but now it was one of the few things that made her smile.

Bianca took a drink of her Bloody Mary, a tradition in their family on Sundays, and set the glass back down on the wicker table. They wouldn't have many warm days left like this. Soon, the trees would turn vibrant colors before losing all their leaves, then a blanket of snow would cover the state for the next several months. Heat was something most complained about in their area until they inched closer to Autumn, but she loved every bit of it.

"I'm coping," Bianca decided on. She wasn't okay, but wasn't miserable either. "My divorce was final two days ago, but it doesn't feel real yet, you know? During the whole thing, I kept waiting for Jackson to change his mind. We went out to lunch a couple of weeks ago, and I could tell he still really cared about me. I don't know, I guess I just wish we could have gone back to the people we were before our lives went to shit."

"You two were dealt a cruel fucking hand," Matt replied as he ran his finger through the light brown hair that matched her own. "But that didn't give him the right to leave you the way he did. He took the coward's way out, Bianca, and you deserved better than to be left in the middle of the night. I don't know how you can look past that."

Everyone in her family hated Jackson for the way he left her. Even Bianca felt herself hating him in small moments. But those moments passed, and she knew that although it was her body being put through the ringer through their entire marriage, it was both their hearts that were destroyed in the process.

Instead of replying to her brother, Bianca took another drink.

"Listen, there's something I want to talk to you about, and I want you to promise me you'll take a few days to think about it before you tell me 'no'." After a few seconds of looking at her brother, he continued. "I want you to move in with me and Kara."

"Say what, now?" It was true that Bianca should have seen this one coming. He'd been bringing up his new house and how it was far too big for just the three of them. He'd also brought up the guest house how many times now, telling her how surprisingly spacious it was.

Matt placed his hand against her wrist and gave it a light squeeze. "We want you to be Brandon's godmother. It would mean everything to me, Bianca. And truth is, and don't get all mushy on me, I miss having you around. I mean, we live an hour away from each other, and I've barely seen you the last couple of years."

Because of her funk, which was putting it mildly. When the light in her marriage began to dim, the light in his relationship only grew brighter. When she lost the final baby, Bianca couldn't bear to hold her brother's new baby, as callous as it sounded. Despite being twins they were never competitive with one another, but as much as she loved her brother, it was painful to watch his life pull together so perfectly, just as hers fell apart so epically.

"You could start over," Matt continued. "New place all to yourself, a new city, new people."

"And what would I do there?" Bianca questioned. "My moods are so up and down these days that anyone who hires me will probably fire me by the end of the week."

It was one of the many things that caused her marriage to deteriorate. She wasn't certain if it was depression or just circumstances, but there was no doubt that she hadn't been the easiest wife to live with near its end.

"My father-in-law only lives a couple of blocks away from me. His housekeeper just retired after working for their family for forty years. He's only looking for someone a couple of days a week, but it would be a start. Pays pretty decent, and you are nothing if not a neat-freak, so it'd be a good fit for you.He knows all about your situation, of course."

"My situation?" Bianca asked, cocking her head. "You mean, my divorce?"

"And why you missed our wedding, along with all the events leading up to it. I mean, he was asking a lot of questions when my twin sister wasn't there for any of it. He could tell something was off with all of us, so dad told him. I think it was all he could do to keep sane for a while. He's a good listener, and was there when one of us needed to vent."

"Anyhow, he wants to help. Not out of pity, but because he's a good guy. He'd like a chance to get to know you either way."

Bianca almost said 'no' as an immediate reaction, but the more she thought about it, the more she realized she'd lose what little mind left if she stayed with her parents much longer. "I'll think about it."