Complicated Desire

Chapter Sixteen

Kade was preparing dinner when Kara walked in, not bothering to knock, with her heals clacking against his tile floor. "Please, come in."

"I stopped by to talk to you last night after I put Brandon to bed, but you weren't here. Stopped by again this morning, and still no answer. Where were you? And where the hell did your beard go?"

He wasn't in the mood for this shit; not after the emotionally exhausting morning he had. It'd taken hours for him to get Bianca relaxed enough to enjoy what little they had of the rest of their day. The blowjob she gave him while they were stuck in rush hour had certainly improved things, but his daughter seemed insistent on dragging him back down. "I'm not sure that's any of your business, Kara. I may be your father, but I also do have a personal life."

She crossed her arms against her chest, sticking one healed foot out, reminding him a bit too much of her mother in that stance. "When your personal life leads you to seduce my sister-in-law, it very much becomes my business."

Kade laid the knife down on the cutting board, then placed his palms on the countertop. She had him there. Although his life was his to lead, the woman he just brought into it was part of his daughter's life, forcing those two worlds to collide. "What do you want me to say, Kara?"

"That you didn't do it. Tell me you didn't sleep with Bianca." Kara's eyes pleaded with him, but it was all in vain.

The relationship he had with his daughter wasn't a complicated one. They were always close. She'd told him damn near everything, even things he never wanted to know. And he did the same with her; to an extent. Details were always better left unspoken.

The only good news was that there were four people who would have a problem with this relationship. With Jackie having found out, and Kara apparently seeing right through him, they were halfway done. At least, they would be by the end of this conversation.

"I can't tell you that."

The room got quiet. She already knew. Somehow, some way, his daughter knew his transgressions. She could see hints of what he wanted on Friday evening, when she'd stopped by to see him. By Saturday, hiding his emotions for Bianca had become impossible.

Then Saturday night happened. Kade told himself he was going over to the house to check on her; see if she was alright. The truth of the matter was that he'd been desperate to be in a room alone with that woman. Not just to do unspeakable things to her body, but to be around her without feeling anyone's knowing eyes on him.

It didn't work out quite as he'd expected. Her eyes were on him, and it felt like she was staring into his soul. Her eyes knew exactly what his heart was trying to hold back. And when Bianca tested him, he'd caved.

Kade gave in to exactly what he wanted that night. Over and over again. He had devoured her body with his mouth. He'd learned every last inch of her with his hands. He'd made love to her, fucked her, and whatever else fell in between.

Bianca was his heaven. Dealing with a little hell in order to have her was a small price to pay. Love wasn't meant to work this quickly, but its gear began grinding as soon as she stepped into that house and into his life. He called her 'mi cielo', because he swore he saw an angel that first time he laid eyes on her.

"I know you don't like this, Kara, and I completely understand why. But I've been waiting to feel something like this for a very long time. I thought I found love in your mother, at least at the beginning, but what I felt for her doesn't compare to what I feel for Bianca. If you hate me for that, so be it, but I cannot lose her or the feelings she gives me."

Kara shook her head and uncrossed her arms to run her fingers through her dark hair. "Love? You're seriously talking about being in love with a person you barely know?"

"That's exactly what I'm doing. You're my daughter, and mean more to me than I can even describe, but you don't get to tell me how to live my life, and you don't get to tell me what I'm feeling is wrong. I've always given you that respect, and I expect the same in return. As I said, I understand why you don't like this, but too fucking bad, because it is happening, and I don't need yours or anyone else's goddamn permission."

When she stared at him, those ten seconds felt like an eternity. She was studying him, looking for a truth he'd already handed over to her freely. "You're serious, aren't you?"

"I am," Kade confirmed as he picked up the knife again.

"So, this isn't just about you being desperate for... you know?"

"Sex?" he guessed. "I know you don't want to hear this, and would prefer to think of me as just your father, rather than a man who happens to be a father, but me getting laid has never been a problem. After the divorce, I was single by choice. I didn't want to feel a physical connection with anyone, and I didn't want to share my life with anyone.

"With Bianca, all that changed. The chemistry and connection were there in an instant. When I looked at her, I wanted inside her heart and her mind. I wanted to be funny, so I could see her smile or hear her laugh. I saw that hint of sadness in her eyes, and I wanted to wash it away. There was something between us I needed to explore; not wanted, but needed. And once I did explore it, I knew I couldn't walk away from it. I knew it before I went to bed with her, I knew it after, and I know it now."

"Matt won't forgive you for this," Kara muttered.

Kade shrugged at the words, bringing his hand up to scratch his freshly shaven face. "Matt is like family. He is your family. I care for him, and I respect him. But if he can't forgive me, that's fine. I can find a way to remain in your life, and Brandon's, while keeping my distance from him if that's his wish. Right now, I really don't care who hates me because of this. All I care about is how Bianca feels about me."

"And you think she feels the same?"

A smile crept on Kade's face; the first since he heard his daughter walk through the door. "I know she does, even if she hasn't said it yet."