Complicated Desire

Chapter Seventeen

Bianca's plan for the night consisted of going to bed three hours earlier than usual. Sleep hadn't existed at all on Saturday, and she'd only gotten maybe three on Sunday. But Lady Luck was not on her side when the moment she turned off her bedroom light, her phone began to buzz against her bedside table.

Seeing Kara's name on the screen, Bianca pressed accept and held the phone up to her ear. "Hey, I was just about to go to bed."

"That thing you didn't want to tell me yesterday morning, was it that you had sex with my dad?"

Natural instincts told her to lie like hell and save herself from this conversation, but the truth would find its way out eventually, and Bianca didn't want to make this an even worse betrayal than it was. "Yes."

"Are you in love with him?"

The question pierced through Bianca's skin like a blade, and a turning in her stomach swirled around and around until she questioned if she was actually going to vomit. "Why are you asking me that?"

A drawn-out sigh echoed through the phone. "I need to know, Bianca. Just be honest."

Bianca nodded mindlessly. She deserved an answer for every question she asked, and she deserved her honesty. "I've never felt anything even remotely this intense before. I thought I loved before, but this? What I feel for Kade? It's indescribable. Honestly, love seemed like such a big word to use before, and now, it doesn't feel like enough."

"Shit, I was really hoping you weren't going to say that. If this had been about sex for at least one of you, you could have just gone your separate ways."

"This isn't just sex for me," Bianca told her, "and he asked me to move in with him, so I know-"

"I'm sorry, he what now?"

"I told him 'no'. There're decisions that come with this relationship; ones that can't be postponed. Once we've dealt with the consequences of those decisions, I want to be able to enjoy actually starting the relationship. Right now, I feel like we're six steps ahead, and I missed out on all the steps that come before those.

"When I think of Kade, I think of forevers, and all that intensity I feel for him, but I also want to be able to take my time to just enjoy all this."

"I'm assuming one of the decisions you have to deal with is telling your brother what's going on."

"Unfortunately," Bianca muttered. "He's going to hate me for this. I know it. Just that one thing should have stopped me from going to his house Saturday night."

"So, that's what happened. I wondered what I could have possibly missed between Saturday night and Sunday morning. Apparently I missed a shit ton."

"Are you sure you're okay talking about this? You aren't making a voodoo doll of me during this conversation, are you?"

"Tempting, but no. I went and talked to my dad about an hour ago, and I was so pissed at the beginning. By the end, I saw him differently. He was right. He isn't just my father, he's a man with his own life to lead. I've seen him content with his life, and I've seen him enjoy it. But this is honestly the first time I've seen him legit happy. Not just happy, but passionate. He's like a different person than he was last week. It was like he was ready to go out and slay a dragon in order to have you."

That was Kade's level of intensity to a T. It'd overwhelmed Bianca more than once, but it was also... beautiful. Having someone feel this way about her was something she'd never experienced. Not with her ex-husband, and not with the very few who came before him.

"You said Matt hating you should have stopped you. Why didn't it?"

"I realized if I denied myself this chance, I'd hate myself more than he ever could."

"I love you, Bianca. You know that. And Matt, he loves you too. He's going to be angry, and that's just because he loves you so much. That anger will fade over time. If he actually let himself see what's happening, instead of just shutting his eyes and wishing it away, I think he'll notice that this was something you both needed to fight for.

"At my dad's, it wasn't his libido talking, it was his heart. I just want you to take care of it. Even if it means a few people getting hurt along the way."

"Are you one of those people?" Bianca dared to ask. Either way, Kara didn't seem to hate her for this, which was probably all Bianca was allowed to hope for.

"Am I hurt? Yeah. Will I get over it? I'm a big girl, Bianca. I know how to deal with my shit."

Bianca let out a sigh of relief until she realized the only way to repay Kara for her kindness was to not keep her in this position for very long. "Can I call you back in a few minutes? I have to call your dad real quick."

"So fucking weird," Kara mumbled under her breath. "Yeah, that's fine. Talk to you again in a bit."

"Bye," Bianca said quickly, then ended the call to make a new one.

Kade picked up before it could ring a second time. "Two nights in a row, huh? Shall I find out what your hands are doing to me this time?"

A giggle escaped her; a sound reserved from her high school years, and apparently with Kade. "Sorry, not tonight, big boy."

"Big boy, huh? And what exactly is that in reference to, I wonder."

Though he couldn't see her, Bianca rolled her eyes all the same, though he certainly wasn't wrong with the innuendo. "I just talked to Kara."

A heavy breath blew out on Kade's end. "I'm sorry, I should have told you. Kara came over to my place tonight, and just came out and asked if we'd slept together. I don't lie to my daughter, Bianca."

"And I wouldn't ask you to," she assured him. "Just like I don't lie to my brother. I'd say I don't lie to my dad, either, but that in and of itself would be a lie. I mean, he's my dad. You kind of have to lie to your parents a little."

"Are you telling me you'd like to tell your brother about us?"

"That's what I'm telling you, yes. I mean, I don't want to- it's not something I'm looking forward to- but it needs to be done. The longer we wait, the worse it's going to feel for everyone. I just want to get this part over with, so we can actually relax and enjoy this without a cloud looming over us."

"I couldn't agree more, mi cielo. Have Kara set up a dinner between the two families this weekend. I won't lie to you, beautiful. This isn't going to be easy, but I'll make sure it's worth it. Sleep well, Bianca."

And with that, Bianca hopped right back on the phone with Kara.