purple's our color- mileven au

TWENTY THREE

"I should've asked you how to be, asked you to write it down for me, should've kept every grocery store receipt, cause every scrap of you would be taken from me" Marjorie, Taylor Swift

    Today was the big day. Today was the final goodbye. El had only ever been to one other funeral in her whole life. Her own mother's. The memory is still bothersome in her mind, as she sat and watched people she barely knew speak so highly of the lady she wished she got more time with. There was so much El could've said about her mother, but she decided not to. But this time, she asked to speak. She wanted to speak about Sara, because in the end she would always be the best person El ever knew.

    After powdering herself with makeup to cover her dark eye bags and the gray feeling on her face, she was sitting on her bed, flipping through the same notecards she'd been looking through for two days. There was so much to say, so many things to reflect on. It wasn't going to be easy to get up there, but El knew it was the best thing for her feeling of closure.

    The Hopper's drove up to the funeral home an hour before the service to make sure everything was in place. They decided not to do an open casket, because nobody wanted to remember Sara like that. She deserved to be remembered as the bright eyed, lively girl that she was.

    Will stuck by El's side as if he was some sort of emotional support guard, the two of them feeling left in the dust as their parents and Jonathan dealt with the logistics that "children" didn't need to be a part of. They sat in the front pew they were going to be in, looking at the flowers being placed out that were different varieties of type and color.

    "Do you know when Mike and them are coming?" Will broke the silence.
    El shrugged, "he said Holly was being tough this morning with getting ready but he wanted to try and get here early to see us. The other three are coming together though, that's what Max told me."

    Will nodded and they fell into another quiet spell. El checked the time. A half hour until the service started. In a few minutes there were footsteps and quiet conversations that got louder as it got closer. The party, plus Nancy and Holly of course. Nancy held Holly on her waist and was whispering to her.

    The two siblings sat up and went to greet their friends. They all gave solemn greetings, it felt odd, they all knew the demeanor of this wasn't happy but it was weird to not feel their loudness radiate the room. Max hugged El immediately, their nervous laughter matching the others. Everybody asked El and Will the same question, how are you? El felt awful and she was aware of that, but of course she replied okay.

    They all talked quietly for a few minutes as the pews filled in with various family members and a few family friends. They were keeping it small, but of course close friends and family were invited.

    The funeral started promptly, an opening prayer and song. El remembered how hard it was to sit through a song. She was sitting in between Joyce and Will and she tilted her head onto her brother's shoulder, biting her lip. Don't cry yet.

    Unfortunately not many people volunteered to speak since most of the family that came barely knew Sara well enough. They were only there out of sympathy and everybody knew that. El walked up to the front, feeling her body shake with nerves but she checked the notes in her hand and smiled formally to the people in front of her. She found the pew with Max, Lucas, Dustin, Mike, Nancy and Holly and that felt comforting.

    "Hi. I think everyone who's here knows me," she chuckled nervously, "I'm El, Sara's sister. Um, when I was eleven years old, I was granted my biggest wish. I got a sister. Unfortunately, my mother passed away from childbirth complications. I remember that being extremely hard on me, I had thought everything was going to be perfect when I finally had a sister, but it wasn't. I pushed everyone away, but to my initial demise, you can't exactly ignore a colicky baby." There were light laughs at her last sentence.