to die for [jsy + f!reader]

viii : tmi

author's note
major tw for suicidal themes in the next two chapters lol
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I dreadfully awoke to my alarm in the morning, muffled under my comforter. I had forgotten to put my phone on the charging cord, and fell asleep with my phone in the bed, next to me.

"Ugh." I mumbled, slowly sitting up in bed, and searching frantically under my covers to find my phone. Once I found it, I checked my home screen immediately, checking the time and scrolling through notifications.

"It's eight A.M. and my phone is on twenty percent. Amazing." I groaned, exhaling and setting my feet on the floor. I decided to accept the fact that I was going to be late and not rush myself through getting ready. No matter how fast I sped through my morning, I would still be behind. I needed that extra rest anyways.

"Morning, sunshine." I heard Soyeon say teasingly from across the room.

"Shut up." I muttered, letting out a groan of morning grumpiness. I looked to her direction to see a half-naked Soyeon, pulling a hoodie over her head. I jerked my gaze away quickly out of respect for her privacy, which she must've thought was hilarious, because she couldn't seem to stop laughing at it.

"If we're gonna be roommates we might as well get used to seeing each other like this. What, have you never seen a woman before? Did you never see Shuhua naked?" She chaffed as she continued to laugh at her own joke, searching for a pair of pants to wear. "I'm sorry, that was an inappropriate thing to say. It was disrespectful of me to joke about her like that. Especially considering the last few days." She followed up, sighing out a hint of guilt.

"No, don't worry about it. I think the jokes are helping me cope a lot," I began, a smile lingering on my lips as I enjoyed Soyeon's strangely playful (at least for it being eight in the morning after a night of traumatic events) mood. I stood up, and looked at my folded clothes that were stacked all over the floor, yet to be moved to the closet.

"Wait, so... in the spirit of new friends, can I ask an invasive question?" Soyeon asked, slipping on a pair of ripped skinny jeans.

"I don't care." I uttered, picking out an outfit from the clothes I had carelessly left on the floor.

"Are you a virgin?" She asked bluntly, catching me off guard. Where did that even come from?

"Where did that come from? I- I mean..." I stammered. "Yeah, I guess I am." I answered, earning a wide eyed expression from the other.

"Really? Oh, wow. That's perfectly fine by the way, I guess I just didn't expect that considering Shuhua definitely wasn't." She replied, buttoning her jeans and examining them in the full body mirror she had propped up on the wall.

"Well, what do you mean by virgin? Like, in the heteronormative sense?" I asked.

"In whatever sense you believe. By the heteronormative sense, it would be impossible to lose your virginity as a woman to a woman. But I would consider having a sexual experience with a woman losing your virginity as well. It's definitely subjective." She expanded.

"In that case, no. All my sexual experiences have been with Shuhua. But I would still be a virgin to a man, I guess." I said.

"Yeah, that still counts definitely."

"She was my first real relationship and the only person I ever trusted my body with. I always felt so weird because a majority of my friends, like Minnie, are into hook-up culture. There is nothing wrong with that, and I know this sounds weird, but I always admired their confidence. It took so long for me to trust even Shuhua like that. I always wondered how Minnie could just... do it with whoever she wanted without feeling uncomfortable."