AIN'T TALKIN' 'BOUT LOVE

CHAPTER 15 - NARCISSUS by LONGOBARDI

This chapter's music is a little unusual. I had the opportunity to see the Van Gogh Immersive Experience this weekend, and fell in love with this music. It so aptly expresses the painter's wonder and deep loneliness. I listened to it while writing and editing this chapter and thought it connected perfectly with our hurting and lonely boys. Like all of us, they only want to be seen. I know that Vincent felt that way. This chapter is dedicated to his pure and beautiful heart.

SPOTIFY LINK https://open.spotify.com/track/1gBPUcgViT53jwSa4Ds8fu?si=fcf156b9b318428b

It had been over a week since Levi had left Eren alone in a dark GuitarBar, with no way home. Since then, he'd avoided the man successfully during the times they normally saw one another. He was still just so pissed off about it. Every time he thought about it, Eren's head would start to pound. What a complete and utter dick that man was. Trouble was, he still wanted that man's dick.

And then there was Isabel. His dynamic with Levi was bewildering enough without their relationships with Isabel thrown into the mix. Neither man would risk their friendship with the girl, and that was definitely turning out to put a strain on things between them.

The past week actually felt "normal" for a change. It was easier to be pissed off at Levi, than it had been trying to figure out how to make Levi want him. He didn't realize how much head space the man had been taking up. Of course, it was impossible to not hear him moving around the next door apartment, with his music and the constant sound of his vacuum ever present. While Eren still saw the man's face in his mind all the time, it was a relief to not have to suffer from his beauty face to face.

Eren forced himself to bring home a couple the night before. Since his neighbor had been revealed, it had been harder to have anyone in his bed, knowing the face on the other side of the wall was the actual one of his dreams.

But these two had been practically irresistible, dancing with him and flirting salaciously. Two adorable men, in an on-and-off again relationship, one tall and deliciously dark, and the other shorter, blonde and curvy. They were a veritable buffet. They kissed him and pawed at his clothes, giggling, as he struggled to get the key in his lock. As Eren swung the door open, he heard the unmistakable clearing of a throat from next door and a barely there "tch" that followed.

He allowed himself to be swept into the living room where the rest of his clothes found their demise. Before he knew it, he was getting soundly fucked over the back of his couch, the long lean body above him stroking him languorously as he pushed deep inside. The little blonde, squirmed and palmed himself, watching his boyfriend bite into Eren's shoulder as he came, only to jump up and round the couch to wrap his lips around Eren's cock in time for him to spill, with a cry, into the curvy kid's pretty mouth, grey eyes swimming in his mind.

They spent an hour longer loving on him and snuggling, caressing Eren's skin and whispering sweet compliments into his ear. Eren could get used to this, being treated this kindly and being taken care of so thoroughly.

But an hour later they were gone, their sweet smiles waving from the elevator. He pulled on some joggers and put the tissues and condom into a plastic bag. He took them to the trash chute and stared at Levi's door on his way back.

He'd fucked those men to keep Levi out of his head...to keep the loneliness at bay, and found, as always, that the hurt and the void were even worse afterwards.

It was always the same with any type of distraction, whether it was a drug, drink, sale, food or fuck. Nothing made it better for more than an hour.

It was Farlan that seemed to understand the most. At dinner that week, he'd talked about that hole, as if he had a window to Eren's soul.