AIN'T TALKIN' 'BOUT LOVE

CHAPTER 52 - I'M WITH YOU by AVRIL LAVIGNE

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The raindrops tapped softly on the windshield, the wipers only sliding through every moment or so. It was cozy in the car and quiet. Peaceful even. Neither knew what to say to one another, but both felt happy and content. Eren used the blinker to turn into Levi's apartment building's driveway. He put the car into park, and sat with his hand resting on the gear column. The only tension was that of not wanting to leave, but not knowing how to stay. Eren glanced over to find Levi looking at him with an earnest look. His eyes filled with tears and he brought his head down to wipe his eyes with his fingers. He cleared his throat and Eren's breath caught in his throat. "Levi–" He put his hand on Levi's shoulder.

"–No it's okay, I'm okay." He huffed a little laugh. "Seems like I'm more emotional these days. Things I used to blow off or tamp down, now get me by the throat." He looked outside as he spoke. "I know it's good for me, but...sometimes it catches me by surprise, you know?"

"It takes a lot of courage to let your feelings come. Thank you for sharing them with me. This has been a tough night, I know."

Levi nodded. "Eren would you stay–?"

"–Levi, I would love to, but I think it's not a good idea."

I don't need you for anything other than your friendship. I promise, I have no other motives. I just don't want to be alone tonight."

Eren studied him and his calm face. If more than he wanted came about, he could always leave. But he wasn't sure he could resist Levi. Just being close enough to smell his scent was enough for him to want him. But could he be a friend? He thought so. "Okay...in the name of friendship. I'm not too keen on being alone tonight either."

Levi nodded and smiled. "In the name of friendship." He took off his seatbelt. "Would you mind if I went straight up? I need to call my sponsor and fill him in on everything. He works the night shift."

"Of course, Levi," Eren replied. "Take as much time as you need."

In the elevator on the way up, Levi's mind was full of all the fragments of events that had happened that night, followed by a smiling Isabel in that hospital bed. He still zoomed with adrenaline. He felt a little manic, and felt so relieved that Eren would stay. He and his sponsor had come to the realization that it was after traumatic events happened that he really craved alcohol, not necessarily in the middle of it. He always handled big situations well. It was when he was coming down from the high that a drink sounded good. He could feel that draw, so talking to Roy would definitely help. Eren was dangerous too. He could be like a drug for Levi. But he felt solid about having him here. He just wanted the comfort of having him around. He was just so grateful that Eren wanted to be with him too.

When he reached his apartment and dialed Roy. Levi was relieved when he picked up. He put a pot of water on the stove and told him about his night and how happy they were that she made it through the surgery okay and seemed to be recovering. He talked about how terrified he'd been and how for a split second he thought of drinking, but thought it through. Roy expressed his happiness that he'd used one of his tools. When he told him about Eren, Roy got quiet for a minute. He was worried that any expectations that Levi might have could end up in disappointment. Just to be truly honest with himself. Levi agreed and discussed his plan for them for the night. He thanked Roy and hung up the phone. He left his bedroom to find Eren making tea. He was the only person Levi would allow to touch his tea. They laughed about that and moved to the living room. Sitting next to one another on the couch, they moved their bodies to face one another. They were quiet, sipping their tea and listening to the patter of the rain on the window.