AIN'T TALKIN' 'BOUT LOVE

CHAPTER 39 - DRUGS AND CANDY by ALL TIME LOW

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As Eren hit the bottom step, he was transported back to the night that he took Levi for the first time. The man stood still, his shoulder against the wall and his hand holding a cigarette. Its smoke swirled into the fog settling around him. His head was down, waiting for Eren to come to him. Instead, Eren stood still until Levi's eyes came up to meet his. They held each other's gaze, neither willing to give up their ground.

Eren was struck by the man's disheveled beauty. His anger suddenly waned, and he took a couple of steps forward. His steps roused the ire in Levi. His eyes narrowed and his lip curled. "The fuck is your problem?"

The boy sucked in a breath, his stomach feeling the punch of Levi's words. His anger flooded forward. "Are you kidding?" he growled. "What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Levi stood up straight and crushed his cigarette under his boot. He walked to Eren slowly, his body radiating menace. He pointed his finger and said, "You're never happy. Nothing is enough for you."

Taking a step back, Eren smacked his finger away. "What the hell are you talking about?

"I'm talking about Hange. How you forced them to talk about our pasts."

"Forced?"said Eren.

"Yeah, forced. They would never bring that up on their own."

Eren shook his head slowly. "We've been dating for months, baby. We're together, in case you hadn't noticed."

"And?"

"And they are my friend too. Why is it such a big deal that I know about your life?" He tried to soften his stance in the hope that Levi would follow suit. He did not.

"It's none of your business, okay?" His voice rose. "You need to just leave it alone."

Eren stubbed his toe into the ground and said in a low voice. "I thought we are one another's business."

Levi stalled for a moment, arrested by Eren's vulnerability. When he finally spoke, some of his bite was gone. "You're implicated now when it comes to their father. You know everything."

"Do you think I'd actually tell someone?"

Levi cast a stern look.

"Levi! Do you think I'd ever do anything to jeopardize the two of you?" Tears pricked the corner of his eyes. Levi stood silent, unwilling to look him in his face.

A moment of stillness between them, only the curls of slow settling fog wrapped around them.

"I can't fucking believe this. I thought you trusted me."

"I do."

"No, you don't. If you trusted me you'd want me to know about your life. You wouldn't mind your friends becoming my friends. It wouldn't occur to you that I might tell someone about Hange's dad. Jesus, I thought we were further along than this."

"It's got nothing to do with trust," said Levi. "I have people to protect. To take care of. Things get kicked up when you dig around...things I don't want to think about. Things that could hurt people. Can't you just be happy with what we have?"

"I don't know. I don't think so." Eren stepped back. "I've told you everything about my life. You've told me practically nothing. That doesn't seem fair. It doesn't feel equal. You're closed off to me. I want to be a part of you in every way."

"You are, Eren." Levi's hand reached towards the boy, feeling intuitively that he was about to walk away. "I've never let anyone in more than you. Knowing things about me from when I was a kid or about my family won't make me love you more."