AIN'T TALKIN' 'BOUT LOVE

CHAPTER 50 - GIVE YOU MY LOVIN' by MAZZY STAR

AUTHOR'S NOTE: I had to adjust their time apart. They've been apart 2.5 months. Levi has been sober over a month.

SPOTIFY LINK: https://open.spotify.com/track/7Gwi3AOnlyXkt6yJzU3BmM?si=07783b8dde894358

Eren, Isabel and Armin sat on a bench at the wharf, watching the sailboats bob and kneel in their births. They reminded Eren of horses in their stables, safe and separate, but still nodding towards one another. They munched on sandwiches that Isabel had made them and slurped on Grape Crush sodas. Seagulls pinwheeled above them as they sat quietly eating.

Armin was the first to ball the aluminum foil into a ball. "So he just calls and leaves you messages?"

"Uh-huh," Eren mumbled with food in his mouth.

"For how long?"

Eren swallowed his bite. "For a week now. Every night, like clockwork."

"That's kind of sweet," said Armin.

"Super sweet," said Isabel.

"Mmmhmm."

"What does he talk about?" Isabel popped her foil in the bag and held it open for Armin who tossed his in.

Eren leaned forward and put his elbows on his knees, holding his sandwich in one hand. "He tells me about his life. When he was little, how he met Erwin and Mike and Hange, and when he first saw Farlan. How he and the rest of the gang bought the bar and how he fell in love with music. How he fell in love with me." He looked between his friends, his face turning red as he tried not to smile too large.

"Oh my god, that's crazy," Armin squealed. "But seriously, how are you doing with this?"

"Are you voice mailing him back," asked Isabel.

"No," said Eren. "He asked me not to so he could just get it all out without worrying about what I was thinking too much. It's hard not to respond, but I want him to be able to get out as much as possible."

"But how are you, Eren? Is this hard for you?" Armin peered at him. "It's not weird?"

"Yes, of course. It's hard to calm my head enough to know how I feel. We went from radio silence to him just pouring his heart out. I don't really know how to respond, I mean, obviously I never stopped loving him, but–"

"You're afraid of getting hurt again," said Isabel.

"Yeah." Eren dropped his eyes to the ground. "I still wake up to his words that day, still ringing in my ears. It's only been a couple of months. Is he still capable of that?"

"He'll always be capable of that, honey," she said. "We're all capable of the worst things, but that doesn't mean the good isn't there too."

He sighed. "I know. I just don't think I could handle that again. It was just so awful."

Armin looked out over the water. "You don't have to know right now. Is he willing to give you that space?"

"Yeah, he said I could take as long as I want. He says he still loves me and wants me. But he says he still has some work to do before he'd even give our relationship another shot. I appreciate that."

"Me too," said Isabel. She blew up into her bangs and sat back. "He's definitely changing. Going to meetings has made all the difference. When he comes back from one, he finally looks like the weight of the world is off his shoulders. I know he wants to do right by all of us, and he's working hard to prove it."

"How?" asked Armin.

"Last week he went to his mother's gravesite for the first time with Farlan," Eren said, glancing at Isabel. "I know that was incredibly important to Farlan."