Hurt

Chapter 11

CHAPTER 11

This was only the beginning of the story for Zayn and I.

"Niall!" I said through cloudy eyes. I grabbed his arm and looked at him. "We can't take care of your baby!" Niall put a finger to his lips. That was the signal for me to be quiet. I walked over to Zayn and hugged him. He kissed my head and knelt down so he was about my height. "Maybe we could do this," he said assuringly. I shook my head. "No, Zayn!" I said. "We've only been dating a year, and who knows? Maybe we are going to break up!" Zayn looked at me intensely. He stood up and sat out with Harry, putting his face in his hands and closing the door behind him. Niall and I were then alone.

Niall hung up the phone and looked at me with those ocean blue eyes of his. "Bella, I know that it would be hard," he said. "But I can't stay here. I can't stay in Bradford. There is too much bad history here. I've gone through so much here, and I don't want the baby to go through as much as I have."

"Why can't you just take her with you?" I asked. I pondered for a second and realized that was a stupid question. The baby wouldn't have a mother figure in its life, and it would be traveling as a pre-mature infant at only a couple weeks old. "Because I'm not a good enough father for her," he said. He wasn't crying anymore. "I know it is a difficult process to adopt a baby... but I believe Zayn and you can do it. He has your back, he always will."

I let out a big sigh and looked at Carly. Her eyes were perfectly shut, and her skin looked smooth. Her hair was curly, almost, and her brown locks were long, almost covering her face. She almost looked like a Muppet. "I've known Zayn a real long time," Niall started, also looking at the baby. "And I know he would do nothing to intentionally harm a person he loves. He loves you, Bella. More than any other girl he's ever dated."

I looked at Niall. "Do you feel... the same way about him?" he asked with tired eyes. He probably hasn't gotten much sleep since he found out about his baby. "Yes... I think I do," I said. "Does that offend you in any way?" I twiddled my thumbs and tried not to look Niall straight in the eye. "No," he said. "I knew we weren't going to be together forever, Bella. I'm a pretty realistic person."

I looked at him, now. He was standing over Carly. A tear dropped on the glass case. "I knew I couldn't keep my lies a secret from you anymore. If we were going to continue to be a couple, I couldn't hide from you anymore."

"If you wanted us to continue to be a couple, then why did you allow me to break up with you?" I asked. "Maybe if we hadn't broken up, then none of this would've happened!" I was sort of angry now. But then I realized that this whole baby thing was my fault. If I hadn't broken up with Niall, he would not have gotten Giana pregnant. Maybe Giana would still be alive. Knowing that I had possibly caused the death of an innocent human being made my stomach churn. 

"But you probably wouldn't have met Zayn, either," Niall said. "You two are meant for each other. I know that for a fact."

I looked out the door window and at Zayn. He was talking to Harry, who took off his sunglasses that revealed red eyes. 

"But I know you loved me," I said. "I know you did."

"I did. But sometimes, you have to make the right decision for someone you love."

"Why did you give me that note to meet you at the park if you knew you were with Giana, though?" I asked. I was digging for answers, and I expectd Niall to give them to me. "Why did you pick Zayn to give the note to me?"

"I gave you the note so you could break up with me. Or, so I could break up with you. I actually didn't know that I was going to be with Giana. She just happened to show up in the mess of it all. And, like I said before, I picked Zayn because I knew you two were meant for each other, even though you hadn't met yet. I needed someone to take care of you so I could take care of myself."

I walked out of the room without saying another word to Niall. I asked Harry for the car keys and I drove back to my apartment, leaving Zayn and the rest of the boys at the hospital. They could find another way to get home. I just needed to think before I made any more decisions about my life.

I woke up in my bed. Smoke was in the room. It wasn't a fire, though- it was just Zayn. "What time is it?" I tiredly mumbled.

"Ten. You missed breakfast."

I turned my head. Zayn was in his boxers and nothing else, sitting on the floor with his lighter in his hand. I could hear snoring coming from the other room, and I soon found out that it was Harry. He needed a place to crash for the night, and he asked if he could stay here.

"What did you guys have?"

"A cigarette."

"Since when does Harry smoke?"

"Yesterday."

I nuzzled back into the covers, trying to ignore the smell of burning tobacco. "Is a window open?"

"Yes. I'm not dumb, Bella. I listen to what you ask me to do."

I fell back asleep and woke up to no one in the room. Harry's snoring was gone, and Zayn was still undressed. He was sleeping on the bed, too, but it seemed like he almost wanted to sleep far away from me. I looked at the alarm clock- 4:00 PM. Exactly. I got up, slipped on my slippers, and decided that I wanted to wake up Zayn. I kneeled next to the bed, looked at his face. His hair was touseled and his dark eyelashes long. His lips quivered at the sound of my breathing. I could smell the smoke on the covers. They were above his shoulders and stopped at his neck. 

"Bella," he said, immediately opening his eyes after I sneezed.

"What?" I said. "What's wrong?"

"Remember that 'thing' I was suppossed to tell you yesterday?" he asked. He turned on his side so his back was facing me. 

"Yes," I said quitely. I crumpled up into a ball, leaning against the wall.

"I think I want to stop smoking."

I smiled. "That will be one heck of a challenge," I said. "How are you going to do that?"

"Well, I could cut down to only two cigarettes a day, then one, then none."

"It's not that easy!" I said. Inside, I was overjoyed. Maybe Niall was right. Maybe Zayn did love me the way that Niall described to me.

 "But since we are going to keep Carly..."

Zayn paused. There was a slight crack in his voice and the room went dark. There was wind whistling and the sound of thunder boomed through the small bedroom. "The fuck was that?" I heard a voice say. I could see nothing, but I knew it was Harry. "Harry? What the-"

Rain started to hit the windows. "Bella, come up in bed with me," Zayn said. I felt for the rough covers and jumped onto the bed, into Zayn's arms. I could smell the smoke again, but it soothed me. His bare arms clasped around my chest, and his legs moved when I twitched. He was breathing loud, and his chest rose up and down with every breath he took. His body heat enveloped me so much that I almost didn't need the covers. My head rest on his bicep and I was soon fast asleep.