Hurt

Chapter 30

CHAPTER 30

Harry showed up at my door wearing what I expected him to wear- a t-shirt and a pair of jeans. He had on his worn-out brown boots and wasn't wearing his sunglasses for once. I sighed in relief when I looked down at my outfit and saw that I was dressed appropriately. Harry smiled and looked me up and down. I gave him an evil stare until he stopped and he took my hand and we walked to his car.

The car ride wasn't awkward, since we had some things to talk about. I told him about Danae giving me a ride home and randomly showing up at Zayn's house while I was still in the car. "Must've been tough," Harry said as he pulled into the parking lot of a really nice French bistro called Angie's. 

"You know, it wasn't really," I said as Harry pulled open the door for me and we walked inside. "I mean, I hated listening to Zayn yell at me. But we are done now. Over. It shouldn't have hurt me as much as it did."

"We aren't really talking much anymore," Harry said as he put his napkin in his lap. We sat across from each other so we could see one another better. The hostess had brought us to a small booth for two, away from the pianist playing in the other room. Harry said that he didn't want to sit near too many people, anyways. "After Ireland, Zayn pretty much cut off communication with me. He obviously made it clear that he didn't want to talk to me anytime soon after he found out that I comforted you that night you guys broke up."

I breathed in. I didn't want to remember Ireland, and I certainly didn't want to remember that night. "We need to talk about Niall," Harry said suddenly. "Nobody knows where he is or where he went. I'm nervous, Bella. Should we just ignore it or go back and look for him?"

"There'd be no use in looking for him now. He hasn't called me or texted me, not that I expected him to," I said. "The one I'm most nervous for is Carly. She might be dead right now, for all we know."

"Don't say that," Harry said, reaching out to put his hands on mine. I looked up and saw that he was staring right at me. I studied his facial features. Beautiful they were, and his hair was like no other. Harry leaned in to kiss me but we were interrupted by the waitress coming over to take our order. I was relieved, because honestly, I wasn't sure if I was ready to kiss Harry. 

"I'll have the spaghetti in clam sauce," I said to the waitress.

"I'll have the same," Harry said, looking my way. I refused to look back at him, afraid that I would start up another intense staring session or even a possibility of a kiss.

"Can we also get  bread sticks?" I asked. The waitress nodded, scribbling viciously on her notepad.

"I'll be right out with those," she said, scurrying away into the other room where she would place our order.

I looked at Harry. His leg was bent and up on the booth chair, and his arm was resting gently on top of it. He was looking the opposite direction at something I wasn't sure of. "Harry?" I said. He turned my way.

"I'm not sure if I'm ready for another relationship right now," I said. Harry raised his chin and put both of his legs under the table. "I just got out of a pretty intense relationship with Zayn. It might take me a couple months... or even years... before I'm ready to date again."

"But I will treat you better than Zayn. I don't have a girlfriend at the moment. I don't drink as much as Zayn. I stopped smoking before I got too deep into it. Hell, Zayn was the one that gave me my first cigarette." Harry took another breath before he spoke again. "I love you, Bella. I always have."

I couldn't believe he was telling me this. He was right, though, as much as he was comparing himself to Zayn. I loved Zayn for a long time, but apparently I could've done better. Zayn was very sexy, talented, and not to mention he made me crazy, but he was still just a kid. He didn't know what he was going to do with his life. He had a job, but he made almost no money. His life was falling apart and he didn't know how to fix it.

"But Harry, I don't-"

"Bella, don't think about it too much," Harry said. "I understand where you're coming from, and even though I really want to be with you, I understand you need space, also."

"Thanks Harry," I said, smiling. Soon enough, our dinner came out and we were finished and on the road again.

"Thank you for a great night," I said to Harry as we got into the car.

"It was no problem," he said, opening the door for me and closing it as soon as he knew that I was inside. 

"Harry," I said for the second time tonight.

"Yeah?"

"Can we drive by Zayn's apartment? I really want to tell him something..." 

Harry looked uncomfortable for a couple moments. He closed his eyes and breathed in heavily. "I guess so," he said, driving down the street Zayn lived on. I didn't realize we were that close- I had wanted to think about what I was going to say before I actually said it to Zayn. "But just to be safe, I'm going to park away from Zayn's apartment so he didn't know that I brought you here. I'm also not getting out of the car."

I agreed with Harry. All hell would break loose if Zayn found out that Harry had brought me to his place.

We pulled up near a tree about a quarter of a mile from Zayn's apartment. "Be safe, alright?" Harry said. "I'll be right here when you're finished." I gave Harry a quick nod and walked towards Zayn's apartment.

I knocked on Zayn's door and waited a minute until he could open it. I came face-to-face with not only Zayn, but Carly wrapped up in a blanket in Zayn's arms.