Hurt

Chapter 19

CHAPTER 19

And she spoke words that would melt in your hands

And she spoke words of wisdom...

The water fell on me like a warm blanket. My wet hair was flat against my scalp, and I stood there, waiting for someone to come and comment on my awful singing. I smiled because no one had come. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

It was the night after Bella went to sleep downstairs. I didn't sleep well at all last night- my body groped for the warmth of Bella's and I couldn't feel her lips on mine once more. I could hear her breathing if I sat on the steps near the living room, and she would once in a while turn on her side on the small red sofa. Her hair covered her face and she forgot to take her makeup last night even though it was smudged, so she smudged it even more while she tossed and turned.

I got out of the shower and dried myself off with a towel. Someone knocked on the door. "Yes?" I said, wrapping the towel around my waist. I spiked my floppy hair up a little and looked in the mirror. I had bags under my eyes and I looked a bit pale, my brown eyes drooping and my cheeks red. 

I hoped that the person knocking on the door was Bella. But it was Harry. "Hey mate," he said. "I know you and Bella talked about the other night. But we haven't."

I backed away from Harry a bit. He had a cigarette in his hand, unlit, and handed it to me. I shook my head, even though I desperately wanted it. "I... I don't have a lighter," I exclaimed quietly. 

"I have one," Harry said.

"I said I don't want it."

Harry shrugged his shoulders and stuck the cigarette in his mouth, lighting it, and taking a huge puff. He blew it out and walked near me to open up the window. I closed the door behind him and I stared at him until he was ready to talk to me. "Harry," I said, becoming a bit impatient.

"Hm?"

"What did you want to talk to me about?" I ran a hand through my hair again and looked at Harry. He was wearing a Rolling Stones t-shirt and his hair was a mess. His curls stuck to his forehead and his blue striped boxers were a little long for him. He was barefoot, and although his hair looked horrible, his eyes were a bright green that made me feel like he could read my mind or stare into my soul. 

"I need to talk to you about Bella," Harry started. He took long drags in and out of his mouth with the cigarette, his fingers twitching from the burning tobacco.

"She is my girlfriend, not yours."

"Exactly. I didn't mean to kiss her. I liked kissing her, but I didn't want to. We both didn't know what was going on at the time. She knew I wasn't you when she ran her hands through my hair, expecting something different."

He threw the cigarette out the window and sat on a stool that lay next to the toilet. "I heard her talking in her sleep that night. She confessed that she liked kissing me, but she didn't confess whether she liked me or not. I know she likes you, but there's something we must strongly consider..."

"Harry, you aren't going to steal my girlfriend from me. Don't even think about it," I said, becoming a bit angry with Harry. He wasn't known for stealing girlfriends. I don't remember the last time he even had a girlfriend. But I have always known that he thought Bella was quite attractive, but I never knew that he would actually try to tell me that she likes him. "You can do whatever you want to try and make her like you. But she won't. She won't like you and never will."

"How do you know that?" Harry asked, coming closer towards me and staring me straight in the eyes. "You don't control her. She may be yours, but she is her own person. She controls her own thoughts and feelings. From now on, I won't touch Bella, maybe I won't even talk to her. We'll see who she likes best. And maybe I'll tell her more about Danae if you really start to get on my nerves and keep telling me that she will never change her mind." 

I heard the door slam behind him and my knees got weak. During the first week that I was dating Bella, Danae and I did something that I don't like to think about. 

We had gotten really drunk one night. Bella had to work that night, so I decided to take Danae out for one last date together before I called our relationship off. We went to a small Frecnh bistro across the street from her house, and afterwards we went to a bar. We were partially drunk before going into the bar, and we had about three or four drinks until we were completely out of it.

No one would drive us home. No one would even look at us. I don't even remember asking anyone to drive us home, frankly. We were stupid enough to drive the couple miles back home to my flat. We jumped in the car and after about a couple minutes, I hit a speed bump and I was going way to fast. Danae hit her head on the back of the car seat and I hit my head a little on the steering wheel, but otherwise, I was fine. 

I called Danae the day after and I asked her if she remembered anything that happened the night before. I didn't remember much, but I do remember bits and pieces of getting drunk and hitting our heads. 

She told me she didn't remember. She told me she didn't even remember going out with me last night. I figured she didn't remember because we were so wasted, and she had a tendency to not remember things the night after she got drunk.

I called her everyday for the next couple days and each day, she would greet me, saying, "Oh, Zayn! I haven't heard from you in a while." I started to get a bit concerned and asked her what she was talking about, since I had just called her the day before. "I just feel like I haven't talked to you in a while, that's all," she said. She would also claim that I didn't call her, but I just shrugged my shoulders and figured that she was just being an over-controlling girlfriend.

I broke up with her soon after that, and the night of the breakup, she mentioned strange things, like how much fun we had had at Harry's house a couple months before. I tried to break up with her at Harry's house. We didn't have fun at all. Why didn't she remember that?

I called into a doctor even though Danae and I had broken up and asked him why she was starting to forget certain things. He had asked me what happened and if she had hit her head on anything recently. I told him about when she hit her head on the car seat, but I didn't think that she hit it that hard. Well, I wasn't exactly positive, either. 

"She might be starting to lose bits and pieces of her memory," he said, making coughing noises on the other line. "I'm sorry, but I don't think there is anything I can do about it."

I swallowed loudly and started thinking about the possibilites if she really did lose her memory. Would she remember if we even broke up? She did call me the day after we broke up, but I ignored it.

"Have you broken up with this girl yet?" he asked, sounding slightly awkward.

"Yes."

"Keep it that way," he said. We said goodbye and he hung up, leaving me with an ex-girlfriend who might be losing her memory and a girlfriend that doesn't even know that I was still dating my ex for a couple weeks that we had started dating.

I got a couple more phone calls from Danae and a voicemail message that was her crying, telling me that it was okay that I didn't want to associate with her anymore and she was leaving Bradford.