Hurt

Chapter 17 [Start of Zayn's P.O.V]

CHAPTER 17

ZAYN'S P.O.V

The night was warm, and I had on a tank top and a pair of my favorite boxers. A beautiful girl lay on my chest, asleep, her long, straight brown hair cascading onto my body. I ran my fingers through her hair, but my pointer finger got caught on a big knot. I tried to pull it out best I could, but I ended up waking her up. She looked at me with big green eyes, her pink lips pursed and her hands running up and down her arm. "Zayn," she said, laying back down and attempting to go back to sleep. "Don't stop."

A couple weeks before, I had been an aclcoholic. I've never told her this, but she helped get me out of my slump. I had a job, but I was on the verge of getting fired. I was a smoker, and I did drugs once in a while, but I loved to party and just act like I was a kid again. I didn't sleep with girls, but I used them to my advantage. I would take them home with me one night and tell them I loved them. I had a girlfriend when I met her, too, and I made a mistake by not breaking up with her before I moved onto my next girl. 

My old girlfriend's name was Danae. Danae Farris. Danae was beautiful, smart, and funny- everything I had hoped for in a girl. She liked to draw, just like me, and she liked to come to my flat at random times and just start making food. She was a good cook, too, and I loved that about her.  I thought that she was going to be the one I would spend the rest of my life with. 

One day in early spring, Danae and I were taking a road trip to Cheshire to visit Harry and his family. I didn't tell her where we were going, because I know that she wasn't very fond of Harry. She would fight with him whenever he came over to my flat for whatever reason. She would blame him for making a mess of the house after she had just cleaned it. But I had never even told her that I wanted the place cleaned, let alone by her. She was such a perfectionist. I could be at times, but not like her. She wanted everything to be perfect, every second of the day. We would have fights about it, even, and I would try to make her calm down a bit. But that day we went to Harry's house, I snapped.

"Danae!" I screamed, slapping her hand away from Harry's hair. She was holding a pair of scissors in her left hand, and she was about to cut a huge chunk of hair from Harry because it had a wad of gum in it. She claimed that she didn't put it in there, but I didn't believe her. "I have some peanut butter, we can get it out that way," Anne said, motioning towards the fridge. She took out a jar of peanut butter and got the gum right out of Harry's hair. 

As he was taking a shower, I asked Danae to come outside with me for a couple minutes. I had a tendency to talk outside when I was mad or sad or just wanted to talk. This time, I was furious. Danae had absolutely crossed the line. I was planning to break up with her. 

"Danae," I said quietly. She walked closer to me and put her hand on my shoulder and kissed me. I pulled away. I wasn't surprised. Danae always kissed me when I got mad, and it got me even more mad when she would think that I would be okay once she kissed me. But she was wrong. "Stop it," I said. She pulled away and looked at me sideways. "What do you mean by stop?" she said. She backed away. "You aren't mad at me for doing that, right? I was only trying to..."

"Danae, don't give me that shit," I said. "I know exactly what you were trying to do. You hate my friends, and I've gotten the hint more than once. I'm not even going to start to explain how many times I've caught you trying to make their lives miserable so you could spend more time with me."

She shook her head. "Zayn, why don't you believe me when I tell you that I was only trying to help?" She sat on the main steps of Harry's house and started to play with the tips of her hair. "We should run away," she whispered, not looking at me. 

"Run away? Are you fucking serious?" I asked. I only swore twice in a row when I was really mad. "You know how much my family and friends mean to me. And you just want to take me away from them so, yet again, you can get what you want?" I was furious. Danae was really getting on my nerves, more than ever. But I still had a feeling inside of me that I couldn't, and that I wouldn't, break up with her.

But what was the good of staying with her? She had ruined my life completely. She demanded that I spent all of my time with her, so I had no time to myself or no time to hang out with the lads. I know for sure that she wanted to have sex with her, and she got made when I told her that I wanted to wait. I started to think that she was just the kind of girl that only had one goal, and it was to bang a guy and brag to all her friends. I thought of all this, but I then I remembered all of the good times I had had with her. We had gone to an amusement park the following summer and had the best time- we rode all of the rollercoasters, we shared a huge thing of cotton candy, and at the end of the night, we went swimming in her pool (of course I stayed in the shallow end). She acted so young, so careless. She acted like a teenager in love, and I knew that that was the way we should've been acting all the time.

"Danae, we're over."

He lips started to quiver and she buried  her face in her hands. I could hear silent sobbing, and her long blonde hair framing around her head. "Why? Why me?" she started to sob to herself. I sat next to her on the steps and started to rethink the situation. "Maybe... just maybe... if you can behave, we cant try again." But I didn't want to do that, either.

Danae's head popped up and she wrapped her arms around my neck and hugged me. "I knew it! I knew you would never, ever leave me!" she said. I sucked in a huge breath of air and knew that I had maken yet another mistake. I was way too sensitive, and even though girls liked that in guys sometimes, it got the best of me in this situation. It got me in massive amounts of trouble.

A couple weeks later, I was still with Danae, and I went to a party with my pal, Niall. It was a party at his friend Andrew's house, and I had had too much to drink and got very drunk. I couldn't remember most of what people said to me, or what I had done that night, but I had oddly remembered meeting Bella.

When she opened her door, I wanted to drop to my knees. She was alarmed that a drunk twenty-year-old man was standing at her door, pushing a note towards her. I remember following into her car, her attempting to move me out of it, and I remember her breaking up with Niall. I wasn't exactly positive of what the note said, but I knew that Niall didn't want to break up with Bella that night, or I should say, have her break up with him. 

That night, Bella and I kissed. We went to a bar and had a couple of pints of beer and started making out in a booth. She got really messed up that night, and as she was driving home (I offered to drive her home, but she told me I was drunk and insisted on driving home herself), I followed her to her house. What she doesn't remember was that we continued to kiss at her house. We kissed, nothing else. I had put my contact in her phone, sent a message to myself so I could add her as I contact, and texted her. She fell asleep in my arms, and I had taken out a cigarette after a couple minutes of laying with her. I left and left a trail of smoke, nothing else.

I had gotten some of my head back while walking, and I started to think of what I wanted to do with Danae. I started to think of who I wanted to be with- Bella, the beautiful, confident stranger I had just met last night, or the fun-loving, amazing Danae that I had been with for two years straight. 

Bella invited me over the next morning after reading my text, and we just talked. We learnd to get to know each other more, and we talked about our family, our friends, our jobs, and where we went to school. I told her that I didn't go to university, and she was surprised, but got over it when I told her that I had a good, solid job and was working very hard at it. A week later we pronounced ourselves a couple.

The only problem was that I was still together with Danae. We were scheduled for a date one Friday, but I cancelled, claiming that I had something at work I had to take care of. She said that it was okay, but I couldn't help feeling guilty that night as I drove to Bella's house for dinner.

I broke up with Danae a couple months later. It was sudden, since we weren't having problems in our relationship (at least, she didn't think we did). She pulled the same act she did that day at Harry's house. I told her that it was for the best, and that I didn't feel much chemistry between us anymore.

"Because you won't have fucking sex with me you dick!" she screamed. She slammed the door in my face after that before I could explain to her what was really going on. But it's not like I wanted to.