all we have is now / feral boys fanfiction

~48~ the boyfriend

~nick pov~

What am I even doing here? I ask myself as I walk through the underground aquarium.

It's one of those tunnels where the tank wraps around you. It was the first place I went after I got off the plane in Vegas. I remember Taegan showing me a picture and saying we just had to do it.

I spot a yellow fish. It's staring right back at me. I don't know what kind of fish it's supposed to be, but it's cool looking. If you're into big, crazy eyes burning into your soul.

"What do you see?" I whisper to the fish. Good thing nobody is around because I'd look like a crazy person.

"Do I look lost and broken?" I ask it, "Because that's how I feel."

Bubbles come out of the fishes mouth before it darts away. I huff as it joins its friends. Rude.

I make my way down the sidewalk. The aquarium wasn't the move to make when I first get here. I don't even have any clothes packed for the trip. Just what was on my back. I plan on going home tomorrow morning.

Everything is lit up with lights in Vegas. I take a picture of the street view. It would be quite pretty if you were in the mood. I bought one of those disposable cameras at the airport while I waited for my flight. I figured it would be a good way to document my night here.

I don't know what I was expecting when I got here. Maybe some closure? Maybe to feel her presence?

I thought it would be life changing for some reason. I thought I would step off the plane and realize everything the world had to offer, but that's not the case at all.

Everything cool that I see, everything that gives the city it's wow factor. All they do is make me wish Taegan was here.

I check into the hotel that seemed to be the tallest building around.

"Do we have roof access?" I ask the clerk as she charges me.

"Not after midnight," she says with no emotion, "Although I can't say anyone will check."

I nod once. "Thanks."

I sigh as I open the door. I don't know what I was expecting. It's a hotel room. There's a nice minibar stocked with snacks, and there's a chandelier.

I take a picture of the fixture. Taegan would like that.

Maybe I'll go back to her grave to show her the trip. I wish I took a picture of that fish. She would want to know about the fish that read my soul.

I plop on the bed, and I ask myself the same question I've asked myself over and over ever sinse I stepped off the plane.

What am I doing here?

I turn on the TV. There's a movie playing. I don't care to turn the channel, so I just try to figure out what's going on from the middle of it.

A knock comes to the door after the movies finished. Damn it, I forgot the do not disturb sign.

I put my drink on the side table as I go to get the door. My jaw drops as they come into view.

"What are you doing here?"