all we have is now / feral boys fanfiction

~36~ alex

~alex pov~

My hands clench into fists. George just sits there petting his dog. Karl refuses to talk. Nick is shut in his room. I don't even know what Clay's doing.

I can't handle this anymore. I need to get out of this house. For such a big house, it certainly seems the walls are caving in on the five of us.

I don't think we can handle it. Were we ever able to handle it?

"I'll be back," I tell George as I get up to leave. I think he mumbles a quiet 'okay', but I'm not really sure.

I knock lightly on Clay's open door. I take one step in. He's brushing his teeth in his bathroom.

He tips his head back once as if to say what's up?

"Hey," I say awkwardly, "Could I borrow your car? I need to go for a drive."

He nods once before spitting toothpaste into the sink. He rinses the toothbrush and spits once more before speaking.

"Keys are on my dresser." He doesn't even look at me. "Take as long as you need."

"Thank you."

Clay's car is a normal car. I think that's something I admire about him. Even with all that money, he has a normal car. He didn't waste his money to show off.

I pull out of their driveway. I make sure to go left instead of right. I don't want to see the bloodstains that don't seem to come off no matter how much the one neighbor tries to clean it. The air outside smelled of bleach for a solid day. None of us could go outside, not that we've really been going outside ever since that day.

I take another left. I'm pretty sure this was the way to the interstate. I've only driven around their area in Florida a couple times...

~ ~ ~

"I said  left, Alex," Taegan instructs from the passenger seat. We were testing out her new car with me as the driver. "I know my way around this neighborhood better than you. It's left."

"I say right," I jerk the car right jokingly before actually taking a left.

"You're an idiot." She rolls her eyes.

"You sound like the dream team," I shake my head.

"Is that a bad thing?" she shifts in her seat to face me.

"Not at all," I laugh, "You fit in well with them."

She smiles. "I think so too."

We're quiet before she tells me to take a right, and before I know it we're out of the neighborhood.

"So could you tell me how you know the neighborhood so well if you don't live here?" I ask.

She shakes her head, but there's a smile on her lips. "I practically live here."

"Are they going to ask you to move in?" I ask, knowing the answer is yes. I can tell by the way she walks around the house, and the way the other boys treat her. She's practically family.

"I think so," She bites her lip to stop her smile. She wants to move in.

"Where will you stay?" I ask, nudging her jokingly, "You're own room orrr maybe someone elses?"

"Shut up," she jams her elbow into my side. "Of course I'll be in my own room."

"But how often will you stay in it is my question." I rub my side where she jabbed me. Dang, girl has power in that elbow.

"Shut up," she repeats. She looks out the window now. It's too dark to know if she's blushing or not, but I would bet money on yes.

"I'll take that as my answer, then."

"What's that supposed to mean?" She whips her head towards me again.

I shrug. "I don't know."

"You're mean," she shakes her head.

The song changes. She starts to hum along, sometimes whispering the words. I move the nozzle to make the music louder. She doesn't mention it, but I notice her smile from the gesture.

She picks some songs that she likes to listen to, or she might argue that my song choice sucks. Other than that, we ride in a comfortable quiet the rest of the way.

~ ~ ~

I slow the car down and pull over before I even make it to the interstate. The car is silent, and it is in no way a comfortable quiet.

"Where are you?" I whisper to the passenger seat. "We all really need you right now, Taegan."

There's no answer. Only silence.

~author's notes~

see what i mean? the moment was happy but then right after we get out of it, it seems sad again

idk i'm trying to ease the pain guys.. it'll get better i promise <3