antidote | h.s.

extra.2 - merry christmas darling

ashton mackenzie

My mom hosts a Christmas party each year, and I have avoided it at all costs for years.

When my parents met Harry at the beginning of this year, it was the first thing she said to him. "Oh, Harry, you have to come to the Christmas party. It's so much fun, the whole town shows."

He couldn't turn her down. She's hard to ignore. She also invited all of our friends and insisted we bring everyone down.

Great news: she likes Harry enough to invite him. Bad news: she likes him enough to invite him.

I don't want to sound like a scrooge. It's just a lot. Harry, Nova, and I are homebodies. We don't like many people, and we don't like to be away for long periods. We just like our little nest with our little people whose company we know we enjoy. Is that a crime?

Regardless, here we are, driving to my parents' house on this fine December afternoon. I promised we'd only stay one night here, and then Harry's flight back home is tomorrow, so I'll take him to the airport in the morning. He doesn't have to endure any more of my family than absolutely necessary.

He's met Mom and Dad, but not Chloe yet, somehow. Every time we've come down, she's been busy. I don't know what to make of that, but I also don't really have many complaints. She's my sister, and I love her, but sometimes my life is just easier without her around.

And maybe I'm also still just a tad bit insecure about Harry meeting her.

He loves me, and I know that. He wants to be with me and marry me and love me, but I can't erase twenty years of trauma just because I feel stable in a relationship. He helps me work through it, and I've never been more grateful for someone in my life, but it doesn't just go away.

Chloe is here tonight, though, so that introduction is one I've been stressing about since the invitation was extended in April.

We're also telling everyone about the engagement tonight.

We've kind of been hiding it. I've been wearing my ring, but only saying something if someone asks. It was strange timing with Belle being born, and we didn't want to steal any of the limelight. Belle was a big reason we even made the decision. She put things into perspective for us and made us realize we wanted our own little Belle. We wanted our life together too and didn't want to wait for it.

So, it's been a few months. We both have seen my parents a few times over the summer and even the fall, but it never seemed like the right time. They just met him. I've never even met his parents in person, only on the small screen of his phone. I knew they would think it was too soon. I still think they might.

We've only known each other for a little over a year, and we got engaged seven months ago.

Harry and I use the term engaged loosely, though. We haven't planned a wedding, and we haven't thought about it. Our engagement is simply us saying we are going to get married and that this is for life. We want the whole party and the family and friends celebration, and we want that life together. We'll do it when we want and how we want. That's what all of this is about.

I have to stop overthinking telling them, though. I know they will be happy for me, even if it's not at first. It does me no good to sit and picture every possible reaction they will have.

I am in love and getting married. I have an amazing guy sitting next to me, and I won't change it for the world. They will have to deal with that.

"What's in your head, Beautiful?" He asks as we near my hometown.

You, Harry. Lots and lots of you, always.