antidote | h.s.

14 - sunflower

harry styles

"What do you mean you're used to it?"

I'm officially concerned. 

"I just mean it's some simple joking around, and they'll get bored soon enough. I'm a teacher, I know how bullying works. I can handle it," Ashton responds, and I force myself to take a deep breath before I close the distance between us, taking two big strides to be right in front of her. 

I can't deny how much it hurts my heart to hear that people are being mean to Ashton at work, because she doesn't deserve that at all. She's such a kind human being, and no one deserves to be bullied. I have to reign it in, though, before I start acting insanely protective and scaring her off. I'll have to talk to Drew about this shit later. 

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to freak, but it's just really hard to hear that your coworkers are being assholes to you, and that it's something you're used to," I try to keep eye contact with her as I speak, but she moves her eyes down to the ground halfway through my sentence. I speak up to get her attention, "Ash," her pretty eyes shoot up to lock onto mine again, "I want you to know, that's not something you should be used to. You don't deserve that, and you never have. Whoever made you feel that way is a fucking dick, and I hope they're out of your life now." 

Every word I say is dripping with honesty, and this may be too open for a first date-hangout-thing, but I could not care less right now. I want her to know how special she is, even if it'll take a while to get through to her.

We have a stare-off for a beat, our eyes switching back and forth between each others' while I wait for her response. 

"I'm trying," she nods firmly, finally dropping the gaze and looking at her shoes. 

I don't exactly know what that means, and I'm not entirely sure if that's the answer I wanted either. It's definitely not the answer I didn't want, which was for her to brush it off again. 

I mimic her nod, and make an impulsive, dumb decision, when I reach and grab her right hand that's hanging down by her side. I'm so grateful that it's kind of cold out right now, otherwise she'd be feeling a much sweatier and more nervous hand in hers as I slide my fingers in between hers. I grip it softly and then turn to face the same direction as her, leaving our clasped hands between us as I pull us into the market. 

I saw her head shoot up to look at me the second our skin made contact, but I haven't looked at her face since, afraid I'll see even an ounce of rejection and my good mood will be rained on; drenched. I can not deal with that right now. Not this early into the night. 

I feel her fingers tighten around mine after a few steps, assuring me that I didn't just fuck up big time, as we reach the first booth. There's a small old lady behind the table, setting the small homemade lanyards in rows along it. Her focus is cute, and I can feel Ashton veering to the direction of the table, so I make the move for her, pulling on her hand to turn us completely in the direction. 

"Hello," I address the lady, and her kind smile meets us both as she glances up from her work. 

"Hi, there," she watches Ashton, as she bends down a bit to look closer at the selection, her free hand reaching up to run over one of the lanyards before moving over to look at another one. 

"How much are these?" she finally speaks up, looking up at the woman from her crouched position, her arm bent back in a weird way to stay interlocked with mine, but she doesn't seem to care. 

"Five dollars each," the woman responds with a kind nod .

I watch as Ashton eyes a specific lanyard. It's white with bright yellow sunflowers on it, lining the length of it. She suddenly stands back up and shoots the lady a polite smile before backing up slightly. I keep my stance and lightly tug her back by her hand.