antidote | h.s.

3 - i get no joy

harry styles

I have a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend.

I mean, if that's what you want to call her.

She was my girlfriend, and then she wasn't, and then she was again, and then she wasn't again. But then she was. And then the whole her cheating on me thing happened. Like, a couple of times. Which I have forgiven Sadie for, as much as Violet hates to admit it.

But now I'm here, with Sadie's half-naked, sleeping body wrapped around mine in my bed, just like we used to always wake up before the break-up. It feels weird.

I missed this when we were apart, but it doesn't feel like it used to. It used to make me feel all warm and fuzzy when I would look down and see her head on my bare chest and feel her soft breaths puffing out against my neck.

Now I look at her and all I can think of is if she cuddled that bastard she cheated on me with after she slept with him. Did he get the soft morning kisses or was it just a come and go kind of fuck?

Or the other one? Did he play with her hair or scratch her back as she fell asleep? Did they talk about their future together and name their yet-to-be-conceived children?

Fuck this, now I'm mad.

And I feel like I'm suffocating.

I reach down and carefully pry our sweaty bodies apart, being sure to not wake her up because I'm pissed and definitely don't feel like pretending I'm not right now.

I slip out of bed and head to the bathroom to brush my teeth.

The whole reason I'm even having this internal crisis is because of one person.

Ashton.

I barely even fucking know her and I'm questioning my whole relationship because of her.

She's cute. I thought that when I saw her in the elevator and that's kind of why I didn't even say hi at the time. Even I'll admit I was a little embarrassed. I was running to catch the elevator and then I crushed my hand in the doors, scaring the shit out of her too because I saw her jump when the doors opened again. So introducing myself kind of just slipped my mind. When Drew called me out on it I felt like a dick, though, because that's so not something I usually do.

I couldn't really stop watching her, and I know she caught me staring way too many times. But, to be fair, she kept catching me because she kept looking at me too.

She's quiet and a bit awkward but in the cutest way. I mean, who isn't a bit awkward?

She blushes anytime anyone even looks at her and she doesn't talk much, but when she does she's really funny. I mean, that orgasm story? Fucking hilarious.

I invited her out to drinks with everyone tonight on a whim. I doubt she'll even go because Drew's not going to be there, but I think she'll fit in really nicely with the group.

And that is the only reason I invited her. It's totally not because I have a weird schoolboy crush on her or anything like that.

I have a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend. I have a girlfriend.

"Baby?"

Well speak of the fuckin' devil.

I spit out my toothpaste and rinse my mouth before I wipe off my face and look into the mirror, seeing Sadie, now with one of my t-shirts on, standing in the doorway behind me.

The bathroom for the loft is not very close to my room and you have to pass both Violet's and Drew's rooms to get to it, so it makes sense why she put on clothes to come over here. I, on the other hand, didn't even bother to put anything on other than my briefs.