mixed feelings // dreamnotfound

Part 3: Preparation

Saturday, December 4th

I wake up, sweaty from whatever dream I was having. Disappointment mixed with guilt rises in me as I recall the events from last night.

I decide to pick up my phone sitting on my bedside table and check the time. 

4:37 P.M.

My eyebrows shoot up in surprise. 

I slept that long?

I sit up in bed and look out the window behind me, finding that the sun is already starting to set. 

My thoughts from last night start flooding my head again, and I immediately get out of bed and decide to take a cold shower. 

Cold showers usually help to clear my head and relieve some of my anxiety, so I take them often. 

The feeling of the water running down my back makes me feel safe, and I let it distract me as I reach for the soap. 

I was planning on going to the market with Sapnap at around 8, so I still have quite a bit of time left. A part of me feels guilty that I slept for most of the day, though. 

When I finally finish washing off the remaining soap and shampoo, I turn off the shower and grab a towel. 

I dry myself off and get dressed quickly. I decided to wear dark blue jeans paired with a plain green shirt. Simple, but works for today. 

It's cold outside, so I'll throw over a jacket, anyway. 

I grab my phone and exit the bathroom, barefoot and hair still damp. 

Silence fills the house, no trace of Sapnap. I walk down the stairs, finding no company. 

Sapnap's probably just in his room

I shrug it off and decide to warm up some of the leftovers from yesterday night. I split the remaining pasta onto two different plates, making sure that Sapnap has some to eat for later.

I quickly put extra food in Patches' bowl, making sure she has enough for when we go to the market.

After placing my food in the microwave, I put Sapnap's plate in the fridge and lean against the kitchen island. I take my phone out of my pocket and look through my notifications. 

Nothing about my dad yet

I sigh as the microwave suddenly beeps. 

I open a drawer and take out a fork, making my way back to the microwave. The food smells delicious, considering I haven't eaten anything since last night. 

I immediately press the fork into the hot food, accidentally managing to burn my tongue as I put it in my mouth. 

I scroll through some of my messages as I eat, before the sound of someone running down the stairs drives my attention away. 

Sapnap suddenly appears in the doorway leading to the kitchen. "Sup, Dream?"

I chuckle lightly. "Hey, Sap."

He looks at the food on my plate, and I motion towards the fridge. He smiles gratefully and walks over to retrieve his food. "Couldn't sleep again?"

I sigh. "Nope."

"Okay, don't get mad at me," he places his food in the microwave and turns to face me, "but is it really that bad of me to suggest getting help?"

I roll my eyes. "I've already told you a million times, I don't need help," I add quietly, "but I do appreciate you looking out for me."