mixed feelings // dreamnotfound

Part 23: Confess

Monday, December 27th

My heart races.

Open the front door?

My thoughts shift back to the last time he wanted me to talk to him.

How he led me to the rooftop, just to throw everything at me.

But I know I can't keep living like this.

Wondering, reliving, hoping.

It's an endless cycle.

I look back at my phone, rereading his message.

I sigh.

the front door? I text.

He types back almost instantly.

I'm waiting outside

I get up immediately, and feel my heart beat in my chest.

Part of me knows I shouldn't open it, but I'm making everyone around me miserable.

Sapnap took Patches after a while too, scared of what I could do to her.

I need to see George and hear what he wants to say.

And if he cuts me off, then...

I put on a hoodie, feeling a bit nauseous as I do so.

that'll be it for me.

Thankfully, Sapnap isn't there.

I slowly walk downstairs, my nerves rising as I do so.

He's waiting for me?

I feel a big of anger start to rise.

Why would he randomly message me?

Why would he wait this long?

Why would he let me suffer?

I push the thoughts away as I make my way through the living room.

What if he leaves me?

My hand wraps around the doorknob, and I unlock the extra lock above.

I turn the doorknob, and pull the door open.

I swallow hard, before my eyes suddenly fix on a brunette, standing frail and delicate in the shadow of the door.

My heart drops.

I immediately feel a pang of anxiety at what he's planning to do, all anger overshadowed.

Why is he here?

He meets my gaze and smiles lightly.

I freeze.

I start to feel all pain from before disappear, replaced by longing.

He lifts his hand up carefully and waves.

I feel myself start to tear up, and my breath catches in my throat as he speaks.

"Merry Christmas," he says, looking down.

I purse my lips. "Yeah. You too."

"How have you been?"

I feel myself start to get frustrated at his words, and bite the inside of my cheek.

"Fine."

He hums, and his voice lowers. "Can I come inside?"

I stare at him. "What, so you can just throw everything at me and leave again? Just tell me what you want to say."

He bites his lip, and takes a few seconds before responding.