Help me. | l.s. (mpreg) [Book 1]

7

Louis was laying on the couch watching Brooklyn 99 when Harry appeared in the living room freshly showered. He slowly sat down with a bit of space to Louis and folded his hands in his lap. Louis glanced over to him before snatching the remote and muting the tv. He sat up and looked at Harry now.

"Are you feeling better?" He asked without any emotion. Harry hated that.

"Yes, thank you." He said without looking up.

"Why did you do this?" Louis asked.

"What?" Harry asked and furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. Louis couldn't see his eyes but he saw the crease that formed on his forehead.

"Why did you go with him?" Louis asked more specific.

"I d-don't know." Harry mumbled.

"I know you're lying. Why?" Louis asked again.

"I- I wanted to get it over with. You didn't want to and don't say that's not true, because I noticed. You were quite obvious." Harry looked up now directly in Louis' eyes. "You don't know how that feels when you are the only one who doesn't know shit about all of this. I'm twenty and a fucking virgin for fuck's sake!" He exclaimed. "When he came up to me I thought 'fuck it'. I just wanted to- just forget it, you don't understand anyway." Harry huffed. He forced the tears of frustration back and bit his lip.

"You're wrong. I understand you. But it doesn't change the fact that I think that you're a bloody idiot for thinking like that." Louis stated calmly.

"I don't give a shit what you think." Harry snapped.

"You shouldn't give this to some random guy." Louis ignored Harry's comment completely.

"I didn't want to originally and you know that!" Harry exclaimed frustrated.

"But I'm not better than him, Harry! Why don't you get that? I'm also just a random guy!" Louis also grew frustrated.

"But I trust you! Why does it make such a difference from what we've already done, huh?" Harry asked angrily.

"It just does. This is something special and you should do this with your boyfriend or at least someone you love." Louis said more calm now. Surprisingly his chest tightened slightly at his own words and he had no idea why, but he didn't like that feeling.

"I don't know what to expect when I miracly would find a boyfriend, but I know what to expect when it's you. I know you and how you handle these kind of things and I trust you. I don't know if I could trust someone else enough for this." Harry admitted.

"You're putting way too much trust in me." Louis mumbled.

"No, I'm not. I know you wouldn't hurt me and you would be careful." Harry said gently. Louis' head snapped up and he laughed sarcastically.

"Do you even listen to yourself? I am a fucking freak who loves to cause others pain, how can you possibly think I would be careful and gentle? News flash, Harry, I would totally destroy you because I have no fucking idea how to make love instead of just fucking and wrecking my partner!" Louis exclaimed angrily.

"You aren't a freak." Harry said softly. Louis only scoffed. "And I know that you can be gentle, I've seen it more than once! You may be more rough probably, but you would always make sure that I was alright and don't deny it, because that's what you always do! You always make sure that I am comfortable even when you're angry with me. That's what good doms do and you are one of them."

"I'm not the right person to do this." Louis said weakly. He was scared that Harry would regret it and he was even more scared that he hurt him or lost control.