The future awaits (DISCONTINUED)

Confession

A month later
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Latte said she wasn't going to walk home with me and would instead walk to Raspberry's house. Time to myself finally.

I wonder what I could do? Ah, surround myself in the worst thoughts possible realizing how lonely I am and how much it's draining me mentally and physically is going to be the best thing I could do!

Though jokes aside, I really, really need someone to talk to. It's just been getting worse and worse every hour and I feel like my skin is being pulled off. It hurts so badly but I can't even tell anyone. The only person that seems to listen to anything I say is Madeline. Which hurts because I don't even know him that well anymore.

I can barely remember what we used to do back then. We used to be great friends back in 1st-7th grade. Though Madeline started making new friends, leaving me behind. We were slowly getting farther from each other before that time, but it still hurt. He just stopped talking to me. What can I really do about it?

Now he wants to talk all these years later. Why does everyone come back after I finally get over them?! I know you only want me as some excuse or random who you can just throw everything at. That's why I don't bother making friends anymore.

Mostly because I don't want to feel what's it's like to be forgotten again. I don't want to feel ignored again. Though no matter how much I try and avoid it, Latte is doing me a favor and bringing it all back. Reminding me how much I hated this feeling at the time.

I got back to the house and was about to go inside, but I walked off the porch. I decided that if I have nothing to do, then I can just take a walk. That's what I did, I guess it was a nice day.

Though as I was walking, I heard Madeline call out my name. I sighed and turned around.

"Heyy Espresso! I didn't think Id see you out here since your usually inside!" He put a hand on my shoulder.

There's the person who made me start to see one my insecurities again!.. Which is totally just great. I didn't reply to what he said, mostly because he was mentioning that I always stay inside making me feel as if I should go outside more often.

"Well I have homework to do so I'll talk to you later." He walked off to wherever his house was. I sighed and continued with my walk. I ended up at a bench which no one was around. I took a seat.

2 days later
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"Come on Espresso! You need to get out more your always ignoring people!" Latte was begging me to go to some party.

"I'll just ignore everyone there too. Why do you want me to come so bad?" I groaned at the thought of going to a party full of high school idiots.

"Cause I want company of course!" Nice lie. You don't give me company unless you want to make me have more weight to carry. I shook my head and walked off to my room. She grabbed my arm before I could get to my doorframe.

I am so close to slapping her.

"I'm not going to that stupid party! Look, It'll just be me sitting somewhere watching everyone get completely drunk! I'm not going!" I pulled my arm out of her grasp.

"That's why I'll be there! Jeez I can give you company idiot!" Latte said this as if it was the best think she'd ever thought of.

"Not if your little friends are there." I mumbled so that she couldn't hear.

"What?" She looked at me confused. Oh she's so nosey, all I did was mumble and now she's dying to know what I said.

"It's nothing. I'm not going anywhere okay? You can't just drag me around like your personal servant! Fine you want to know what I said? You won't give me any sort of company because you'll be over there ignoring me to talk to your friends!" I yelled at her. It's true, and I'm tired of keeping it to myself.

"What are you talking about!? I still give you company even when they're there!" Also another lie.

"That's why you stopped saying hi to me in the hallways because you so on so, "didn't see me" even though I can see you take a good glance at me!"

"That not tr-"

"You stopped eating lunch with me even when you said you would try and alternate days with me and your apparently better friends! The act is horrible I know you don't like me and don't want anyone to know that I'm your brother! So I'm not going to some stupid party because I'll just be ignored in the end!" I walked off to my room and slammed the door.

I could tell when I walked off, Latte realized that she was indeed, ignoring me. Though she just stomped and walked out the front door.

A day later
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Latte is still mad at me for yelling at her, and she claims that I'm the one ignoring her. It's most definitely not true. She just tries everything she can to get any sort of problem off her shoulders.

I hate her for it. So so much. Only because she puts it all on me. If I get one more thing I'll go insane.

I decided to avoid her in school now. Since that's only what she's been doing to me. I don't care if we're siblings I'm still going to avoid her if she's only going to make my life hell!

Later that day when we got home, she pulled me into the living rooms.

"Look, I've been trying to get closer to you in school-"

"Oh yeah because I'm the weird kid that you're trying to get closer to even if I'm your brother at home." I glared at her.

"Let me finish! All the sudden your ignoring me?! Come on Espresso you can't be that mad!" She screamed at me like I didn't have a reason.

"Why are you ignoring me?! Why are you ignoring me like you secretly hate me?!"

"Because I SECRETLY HATE MYSELF!" I put a hand over my face and looked at her nervously. She stared at me shocked.

"Espresso wait-" I was already running back to my room. I locked my door I curled up on my bed. I'm such an idiot..