If I Didn't

2 -Mitch

It hurt like hell to put on a happy face. It hurt like hell to have to see them all lovey bunny wherever they go.
It hurt like hell that my best friend can't see that I'm faking.

Every single time they go out and Scott doesn't come back for the night, my heart dies. Every time they kiss or share something in a romantic gesture, I can feel my cheeks flare with jealously. Every single fucking time they say "I love you," I want to build a wall and knock it down over myself.

Yes, I don't have the right to feel this way. Scott and I are more than friends, though. For real. I have years of chemistry and friendship with Scott that Alex could never ever top. I have the leverage. But why aren't I winning?

People tell me all the time that they would love to date me. I mean, I have all this kapow, and it fits in women's size 2 jeans. (Don't judge. Being drunk in a women's store gets odd pretty fast.)

I don't want anybody else. I want Scott. And I want him like crazy. I don't know what else to say about it. Anybody who isn't Scott should talk to the ass.

Currently, I'm sitting in mine and Scott's living room, wine bottles at hand to wipe away the tears. I texted Kirstie to bring me Ice cream and one of her softest onesies, so I currently was indulging myself further. I spoil myself like mad.

But I don't. Because I don't have him. Or Beyoncé. Yet.
Beyoncé is easier to get than he is.

God, have I swerved from the topic. Or maybe the wine is doing its thing. I feel more relaxed than ever.

Why does life have have to suck like the treatment Scott is most likely giving to his boyfriend? Or, why does life have to blow things out of proportions like...god. This has become depressing.

Why aren't I good enough for him? Why haven't I yet to make a move? Why don't I open another bottle of wine and call up some exes?

Huh. This wine is some strong, fast working stuff. Now, I must ask a question upon you you sweet, sexy beverage. Will you please wash away my pain like you do everything else? Would you be so kind as to accompany me in my night as agony becomes desperate? As the night gets darker? As the clock runs out? As every godforsaken memory of Scott and Alex pop into my mind?

Oh, Mitch. You are in for a rough, fabulous night.

Alone.

-

A/N: Hey...?
Don't judge. I feel depression.
Lol. So this was short. But I'm updating all three of my stories so... Yea?
Haha, Mitch obsessed over Scott+Alex. Every single Fanfiction ever.

Okay. Olay.

Bye.