If I Didn't

20 -Scott

A/N: Long time no see...

*shrug*

-

The days following the breakup were rough. And it seemed as if I got some weird symptoms when dealing with the aftershock.

My organs felt like they were liquid, and everything sloshed around when I moved. Then, it got to the point where everything felt like it solidified, and I had two steel planks for lungs or something. It was like I was transforming into a blender.

Roll visual.

I also had nightmares. They weren't too awful, but I always seemed to wake up dazed in a pool of my own sweat and doubt. It didn't help when there wasn't anybody to comfort me, either.

The hardest part about not being with Alex were the nights. I was the big spoon, normally always. It felt really strange not holding him at night when he came over. And in the mornings when he would stay over even though he had class the following day, he'd make me coffee and wake me up to eat breakfast with him before he'd leave. And after class, he'd come back over with Starbucks from his shift and we'd watch movies and YouTube videos. We'd make fun of Donald Trump and throw popcorn up into the air to catch it with our mouths.

He'd always win that game, the dork.

Mitch has been helpful, too. Always asking me what he can do to make me feel as fabulous as I used to. Getting coffee, ice cream, buying me things, and doing me favors like not wearing my clothes.

Although that last part was okay. I would be lying if I said that I didn't like his cologne on my oversized sweatshirts. It lets me know that he's still here. This time has made me realize just how special I am to have him as my best friend. Since we were 10, we've been inseparable. And honestly, I'm not complaining.

When he came in the door with groceries in his small arms, I was sprawled out on our couch with a purring Wyatt on my chest. I turned my head and smiled at the brunette with a tired-eyed  gaze.

"Hey, lazy ass," Mitch called as he stumbled into the kitchen.

"Hey to you too, Katherine," I said with a weak laugh. "Can I help you?"

"Nope, you can stay right there because I'm about to join you with ice cream and movies."

"That's why I love you."

"I know," he said. I laughed. "I love you too, blondie."

After a few minutes, he came out with two bowls piled high with ice cream and whipped topping. I pushed the cat gently away before I made room for him to sit down. He did so, and handed me a bowl.

"I got a guy's number today," Mitch announced abruptly. I froze, raising an eyebrow. An unfamiliar feeling arose in my chest, but I didn't want to make it noticeable.

"By scaring him into it?"

"No, dumbass."

"Rude and disrespectful," I mumbled back, before shoving a butt load of chocolate ice cream into my mouth.
"So does this guy have a name? And a face?"

"Jake. And yeah, he's actually pretty cute. We met at the grocery store."

"Hm. How was he dressed?"

"Scott, I don't remember. Something hot, probably."

"Ew. I don't like him already," I rolled my eyes. I didn't know if I was supposed to be feeling like I was going to mildly hit something. But again, I kept it masked both of our sakes.

"Don't embarrass me," he said. "If I bring him home, I mean."

"A, please don't go so fast. And b, give me a heads up so I can be off the vicinity. All of the neighbors know that you're a screamer," I teased.

Mitch gasped. "You listen?"

"Not like I have a choice. I live just over there, if you forgot." I pointed, and he groaned.

"I didn't. And two can play at that game. I know the sound of you banging Alex against a wall quite well." He smiled, but then it disappeared as soon as my eyes widened. My heart dropped, and my stomach sank. Suddenly, I wasn't in an ice cream mood anymore.
"I'm sorry," he said, crawling closer. He took my hands in his. "I forgot."

Staring at our conjoined hands, I was suddenly glad that it was dark. My face flushed a deep pink, and I felt my ears get hot.

"It's...it's okay," I managed, and then I looked away. "Let's just watch our movies, yeah?"

"Alright.." He said, and he let my hands go as he picked his ice cream back off the table where he had set it down. I took a deep breath, and then I reached for the remote to get the night started.

-

When I woke up, the room was dark, except for the dim glow of the television. I yawned, covering it with my fist. I tried to pull my other arm up to my hair to comb it out, but it was stuck.

Looking down, I saw Mitch asleep. He was on his side, and his head rested on my right shoulder. His soft snores were barely audible over the television volume.

I couldn't help but smile tiredly at my best friend. He had to have been incredibly tired to lay down with me like he had. But tired or not, he was here.

I remembered the little talk we had before dozing off. I remembered how he'd gotten closer, and how nice it felt to hold somebody's hand again.

And call me selfish, but I just couldn't find the strength to move a thing.

I closed my eyes, and let the sleep overtake me again.
-