If I Didn't

8 -Scott

Pacing, pacing pacing.
I did it for hours...and it got me nowhere. Where was I? Why am I suddenly failing all the people I care about?

Alex called me over to tell me something...but we got in a fight and he sent me away to be alone. And Mitch had been acting a little strange...but I had no idea that anything was happening. I come home wanting to have fun with him and him only, and he wasn't here. And then I hurt him and words were exchanged and...this is where my brain explodes, right?

It was maybe two am in the morning when I heard soft sobs coming from behind Mitch's door. They were weak and they sounded more like breaths, but they were there.

I crept as close as I could to the door, and set my ear up against it. It sounds like he was actually talking to himself. Or trying to, through gasps.

I was tempted to knock. Hearing Mitch cry all night would literally kill me. We're suppose to be best friends, and sisters. And now we're just...whatever we are. I can't help but feel like I've failed him most of all for some reason. For what, I don't know.

Eventually, I force myself away from the door, and into the kitchen for some water. My hands shook uncontrollably. I couldn't help but feel utterly useless at the moment, and the two people I'd come running to happen to be mad at me. But I can't seem to get them out if my mind.

I pull out my phone and call Alex. He has exams coming up; he'd still be awake and studying.

Sure enough, he picked up on the second ring.

"Hoying," he addressed me by last name. I pouted, setting the cup down as I tip-toed to my bedroom so I wouldn't disturb Mitch.

"Babe, please don't be like that." I heard him sigh on the other end.

"It's two in the morning, Scott. Get to your stupid point so I can stop thinking about your stupid -but beautiful- face." I felt my cheeks redden.

"Your face is beautiful to. Look, Alexis..."

"I'm dozing off," he said curtly, cutting me off.

"Right. Alex. The two people who mean the world to me are mad at me right now...and I'm kind of dying. I need you to talk to."

"Huh. Why not go to Mitch with your problems. He's much more of a girl anyway. He'll help you solve your problems," he spat, and I could imagine him turning his back to me with a pout. For both of our sakes, I let that comment slide. Saying that kind of stuff about people is just plain rude and even though it's stating the obvious, people don't like it to be said out loud.

"Oh my goodness, Alex. You and Mitch say the same thing! I can't believe that you two are jealous of each other."

It hadn't really dawned on me until now, but what if me spending too much time with Alex is what's getting on Mitch's bad side? Or what if being really flirtatious with Mitch is what's getting on Alex's? For the second time tonight, my mind has blown. But...why would Mitch be jealous of Alex?

"Oh, please. Babe, I love you. But I don't want to share you. And I certainly don't want my heart to be broken."

"I know-"

"Scott, I need to call you back when I've had coffee. Please stay with the voices in your head for one night. I gotta go."

And with that, he hung up, leaving me with my pitiful failure self again. I raged in Frustration, and threw my phone on the bed. It bounced twice and fell off the other end.

And all through this, I could still fucking hear Mitch's cries.

Damn, I'm in for a long night.

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