If I Didn't

23 - Mitch

"So you guys...you slept together?" Kirstie asked me quietly, looking around the small shop to make sure that nobody was listening in.

"Yes, but nothing happened," I answered, taking a sip of the warm coffee in my hand. "I don't think I could forgive myself for letting myself be in that kind of situation so early. Especially so since Scott's still heartbroken." There's a thin line between using somebody to feel something and doing it for somebody out of love and lust. "If Scott would've asked for anything more then what he did, I really hope that I would've refused." But would I of?

"Wait, let me try to get it straight," Kirstie said, setting down her own beverage. "Scott asked to cuddle with you after he had a nightmare, but he was half asleep so he didn't know what he was saying?" I nodded, and she continued. "And you did, even though you're going on a date with Jake today?"

"I wouldn't call it a date..." I begun, but I looked down in shame. Kirstie was my best friend, apart from Scott. We've known each other for forever. Out of anybody, I'd expect her to be the most honest with me about anything.

"He's actually a good old friend of mine," I said. "Jake and I were in the same dorm room at theatre camp. He's visiting California to meet his long distance boyfriend Chris. But he agreed to help me make Scott jealous..." I knew that it sounded so bad coming out of my mouth as soon as I had finished explaining.

"Oh, honey..." Kirstie shook her head at me. "If there's any chance that he likes you back, you're going to confuse him. You know how protective of you he is...you remember the Travis situation, don't you?"

I flinched at the mention of the name, but I nodded. "That's different, though. He had a right to be concerned..."

"And as far as he knows, Jake could be the same way. And if he has any remote feelings for you at all, he's going to be hurt all over again. Maybe even more protective than ever." Kirstie put her fingers to her temples, rubbing them in small circles.

"If Scott has feelings for me, why can't he just tell me?"

"Because, it may still be too soon. He may still be confused; he may still be heartbroken from Alex. He may feel bad that he moved on too quickly. I don't know, Mitchie. This is a tough one."

My eyes went wide, and I groaned. "Oh...oh shit."

Kirstie looked at me with a worried expression. "What? Am I missing something?"

I frowned. "I feel like a bad person, now..."

"You're not a bad person, Mitch. Why would you say that about yourself?" Kirstie reached across the table to take one of my hands in her own. I squeezed it gently, and I met her eyes with worried ones of my own. "What's wrong, Mitch? Why are you so down?"

"Because..." I mumbled. "Jake and I arranged to bring the date home with me...right before Scott and I film."

"So the two of them are meeting?"

I sighed, looking back down at the ground.

"That would be correct."

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