his star

𝐞𝐩𝐢𝐥𝐨𝐠𝐮𝐞

𝚝𝚑𝚛𝚎𝚎 𝚢𝚎𝚊𝚛𝚜 𝚕𝚊𝚝𝚎𝚛.

As I hold you in my hands, time has finally stopped running away from me.

I find myself slowing down after years of running away from the unknown, trying to change fate's plans for me by remaining in the past because nothing has ever ruined me more than the way you left me behind.

Every second of every day, you were everything I have been yearning to see again. Every breath I inhaled, I had this glimpse of hope inside me which told me that any moment now - you would return home to me. So I waited for you.

I counted the beats of my heart in order to recognise your steps inside them.

I cried tears of desperation in hope of calling you back to me, allowing you to catch drop after drop and stopping the rain from flooding me.

I waited three years and you never came.

You never let me feel a part of yourself until now.

My fingers are holding onto you with all the power I had lost since I had to conquer the world on my own. In this moment, I feel the part of me return which I was so sure to never see again.

I smile at you while you gift me with nothing visible in return. I press you against my lips, hoping that the familiar taste of your lips will go on an adventure inside my body - finally allowing my heart to grow back to its size again.

You are not like you used to be. The taste you carried with yourself was ridden from this world the moment your soul took flight.

It is not you I am holding in my hands, Adhara. It is not the touch of your body which causes me to levitate in the air and it is not the sight of the beauty you held within yourself.

The object which brought time to a halt is a piece of glass;

An anchor.

A rush of coldness fulfils my body the moment I allow my feet to penetrate the freezing surface of the ocean ahead of me while my eyes are still fixated on the piece of art I am holding so dearly.

Three years were a long time to empty out the pain I let myself live in.

Three years haven't been enough to fix the wrack you left behind.

But those three years gave me the chance to remember every little thing that made you you. I went on a journey through my memory, wishing you were here with me in order to hold my hand and prevent me from falling apart.

I have not managed to bring you back to me, but I reached the point at which I was able to say: "This is her, this is my Adhara.".

The anchor in my hands is you, princess, can't you see?

All the months I have spent with you have brought me closer to the home I never knew I needed. You were my safe place and served as the means of shelter when I noticed how I slowly drifted farther inside a storm out of which I couldn't have escaped if it weren't for your support - your hand that was always here for me to take.

An anchor is an object which portrays security and stability and you served as both for me.

You were the person who held me in between your arms whenever you saw a piece of me breaking a little bit. Whenever I lost track of right and wrong, you lead me in the right direction while taking care of me, while gifting me with the amount of love that was so overpowering.