Burn the truth (ENG)

| 44 |

March 2020

I tapped my fingernails impatiently against the banister and glanced quickly at the hands of the clock. "Esma!"

"Yes?" she called back from her room.

"We'll be late!"

"I'm coming!"

I let out a sigh and leaned against the wall. I gently rubbed my grown belly with my hands.

"Mommy." Ela carefully walked over to me with her shoes in her hands.

I felt my heart swell hearing Ela's voice.

I helped Ela sit on the step of the stairs and took her shoes from her.

"Mommy," Ela chatted.

I hummed.

Ela's little finger prodded my stomach gently. Her big eyes looked at me curiously. "Baby?"

I pressed her little hand to my stomach and nodded. "Baby brother."

"Bowther," she tested, rubbing her hand lightly over my shirt.

I hummed as I unlaced the shoes. "Baby brother."

"Why don't you talk it out with Imran?" I suddenly heard and looked up into Esma's hazel eyes. "He should know that you are expecting with his child, Zara."

I shook my head abruptly. "No."

Esma gave me a sharp look out of the corner of my eye. "Sooner or later he'll find out, Zara."

I ignored the fear in my chest and put Ela's foot in a shoe. "I have an appointment with the lawyer tomorrow. Don't worry."

Esma sighed and pulled on her sneakers.

I tied the cute shoes to Ela's little feet and stood up, wiggling my fingers. "Come, Ela. Let's go to the playground with Aunt Esma."

Ela immediately held my hand and looked at me with her twinkling eyes. A smile automatically appeared on my lips.

~

Not much later, Esma and I were sitting on a wooden bench in the playground while Ela was playing.

I kept my hand to my forehead because of the sun as I watched Ela.

"Do you have a paracetamol for me?" I heard Esma ask and I looked at her with concern.

"What's wrong?"

A sigh left her mouth as she slumped back. "Headache."

I fumbled in my bag and pulled out a packet of paracetamol.

She took it gratefully and stuffed two tablets into her mouth. She gave the package back and I threw it in my bag.

When I saw a photo in my bag, I froze. It was a picture of the baby in my tummy.

I saw Esma peeking at the photo and I shook my head before holding it up for her.

She immediately took the photo and stared at it in admiration. She ran a finger over the photo and smiled in thought.

Knowing that negative thoughts were running through her head, I rubbed her arm and she relaxed. "This could have been my future," she muttered under her breath. Her tone was somber.

"I'm sorry, Esma," I muttered with a lump in my throat. I recognized her pain. After all, I had experienced the same pain.

The pain of losing a child.