Burn the truth (ENG)

| 55 |

I laid in bed, staring out of the window. Surrounded by silence.

These were the moments when the absence of a loved one hit you like a rock.

Ela.

My heart cramped painfully.

I missed Ela.

How would she be now? How did she spend the week? Does she miss me already? Does her grandmother treat her well?

A photo of Ela in her blue dress playing in the park was in my hands.

I felt a tear trickle down my cheek.

My daughter.

There was a knock on the door twice. "Zara," Imran's voice urged from the other side of the door. The door opened slightly. "I cooked food for us."

I didn't have the energy in me to respond to him. Without my Ela, I felt empty inside.

Footsteps were taken towards the bed I was lying on. I felt Imran squatting next to the bed. "Why are you crying?"

He glanced at the photo in my hands. "Do you miss Ela?"

I blinked.

We had never been apart for so long since I had Ela in my arms. Only a few hours if I had an appointment somewhere. Then Esma would supervise.

"Zara," Imran muttered cautiously. His fingers carefully wiped my tears. "Do you want to visit Ela?"

Visit Ela?

My eyes slid his way. "Is that possible?" I frowned. "But the court-"

He gave me a small smile. "If you come downstairs for dinner, I'll arrange that."

My eyes sparkled enthusiastically. "Okay."

I couldn't help but wonder what thoughts are circling in his head.

Last night, we had argued and now he was so calm and careful.

It seemed as if last night's fight hadn't happened.

Imran threw the blanket away and helped me up.

A sigh left my mouth at the feeling of a stab in my back. The effect of weight in the abdomen.

When I heard my stomach growl, I realized I was hungry. My thoughts had certainly suppressed the feeling.

Imran held his hand to my back as he escorted me into the living room.

Arriving at the living room, he pulled out a chair for me and I took a seat. "Thank you," I muttered under my breath.

A lump formed in my throat at the feeling of his presence behind me. It was hard to breathe when he was so close.

A sigh of relief left my mouth as I saw him walk away from the corner of my eye.

I swallowed the chunk and filled my plate with a little bit of rice and meat.

Feeling eyes burning on me, I looked up. Imran had a disgruntled look.

"What?" I asked awkwardly.

His brown-green eyes stared into mine. "Zara, you're eating for two. Put some more on your plate."

I gritted my teeth. "This is enough."

He shook his head in disapproval. "Zara, this isn't even enough for one person. Let alone two."

I took a deep breath and nodded. "Okay," I sighed irritated and scooped some more onto my plate.

We continued to eat in silence. An uneasy atmosphere hung over us.

All I could focus on was the man in front of me. His eyes occasionally wandered to the TV where an action movie was playing.

My phone suddenly vibrated and I took it out of my pocket. A quick glance showed it was a message from Vico. Did Faid know that you are temporarily under Imran's roof?

I felt Imran's eyes burning on me, but he held his lips together. No, I typed back. How so?

Shit, that's what I got in response. I frowned confused.

"Who is that?" I finally heard Imran ask.

I raised an eyebrow. "An acquaintance."

His jaws were tense and his grip on the spoon was tight. "Oh?" he expressed clearly dissatisfied.

I rolled my eyes. "Yes."

"And is that the person you had dinner with yesterday?"

"Imran," I muttered irritated. "Stop that."

"By which?" he dared to ask. Knowing what I was talking about.

Frustration bubbled up in me. "I'm not going into that."

He sniffed his nose.

His jealousy made no sense.

He had no right to be jealous.

"Losing you was not only painful, it was damn damaging," I uttered to our surprise. "I stayed up until four in the morning because the thought of you was so strong that I couldn't even close my eyes without seeing your face."

"Zara-" Imran interrupted me, but I shook my head.

"I laughed for no reason as my stomach turned, as the urge to fall apart grew stronger. I cried at random hours of the day and I could barely get out of bed."

A lump formed in my throat.

"I deleted our conversations and regretted it afterwards, because now I couldn't know where we went wrong."

My eyes started to sting. "It fucking hurt. Losing you hurt me and I'll never forget that kind of pain."

I took a deep breath and stared into his eyes. "-but you know what? I needed you. I don't even care how that defines me or makes me sound. We are humans. We all need someone at some point, and I needed you. I needed you to be the person you promised to be - supportive, caring and trustworthy. Remember?"

He nodded slowly, his eyes on his plate.

"So if I say now that I don't need you anymore, it's not because I'm the independent woman who throws the 'I don't need a man' card in the air." My dark brown eyes pierced his. "No, it's because I don't need a man who can't keep his damn word."