Burn the truth (ENG)

| 30*|

"Zara?" I heard Imran calling from behind me. "Zara!"

I ignored Imran's screams and walked into the living room. I threw my bag on the couch and accelerated my steps up the stairs.

Tears threatened to fall, but I held them back.

I can't break. Not now that everything is better.

"Zara." Suddenly I was pushed against the wall. His hands held my wrists tight as Imran pinned me to the wall. "What are you doing?"

I avoided his eyes and struggled under his grip. "Let me go, Imran."

He tightened his grip. "I want to know how I offended you."

"What you want to know is irrelevant," I snapped at him.

"It's not so much what I want, but what's right." He came closer and my breath caught in my throat. "You accuse me of insulting you. I have a right to know exactly what I did to insult you."

"We're not in court," I argued thoughtlessly.

His eyes were striking, my favorite about him. His jaw was strong, the rest of his face was structured in hard lines. His body clutched mine and dominated our space without his realizing it.

It made me uncomfortable to say the least.

At my resistance, he gave me a look that made me cold to my bones.

"Zara, don't you want kids?" His eyes pierced mine.

I let out a frustrating sigh. "No, Imran." My heart pounded painfully. "No." A lump formed in my throat. "I don't want children."

He released his grip on my wrist in a second and took a step away from me. "Why?"

I swallowed the chunk and looked up. "Just because."

Imran shook his head unconvinced. "That's not a valid reason."

I stepped off the wall and walked to the window in our room. "I don't want to argue here."

"Zara, you sound illogical," Imran uttered in frustration.

Silence overcame us for a moment.

His brown-green eyes looked at me intensely. "I want children, Zara."

A lump formed in my throat. "I can't give it to you, Imran."

His mouth dropped open as he looked at me with disbelief. "Can't or don't want to?"

"I don't want children, Imran," I said coldly. I dug my nails into my palm. "Why don't you understand what I'm trying to say?" My eyes looked at him pleadingly.

He shook his head humorlessly and ran his hands into his hair in frustration.

My fingers began to tremble again and my heart began to cramp painfully.

I have to leave. I have to get out of here.

I roughly wiped my tears with my hands and walked down the stairs. I opened the door that led outside and accelerated my steps without looking back.

Inhale and exhale.

----
[Zara - November 2018]

I crouched on my knees as I vomited back into the bucket.

This was the umpteenth time this week.

Panting, I leaned against the wall again and closed my eyes with fatigue.