Burn the truth (ENG)

| 42 |

February 2020

[Zara]

I tapped my foot impatiently against the wooden floor as I held my phone to my ear.  After three rings, he answered in surprise.  "Zara?"

"Faid," I muttered with relief and sat up.  "You finally picked up."

"Samira has recently had those dark brown pigment spots on her arms." His voice echoed as he spoke.  He was probably underground.  "We had an appointment with the doctor today.  We just got back from that."

"Oh," I leaned against the back of the chair.  "What did the doctor say?"

"He said that the hormones estrogen and progesterone cause the cells in the skin to produce more pigment, which causes the spots."

Faid was never a fan of school biology.  So hearing him say this, as if he understood, sounded strange.

"What was your answer to that?"

I heard the sound of the elevator in the background.  "I looked at the doctor as if he were speaking Russian to me," he uttered.  "I was already lost hearing the word hormones."

"But that was said at the beginning of the sentence," I muttered with a frown.

"Exactly," he exclaimed, irritated.  "All I understood is that the situation is being described as a f*king pregnancy mask. Can you believe that? Who calls pigmentation spots a pregnancy mask again, def*ck?"

I rolled my eyes.  "If all goes well, those spots should go away on their own after pregnancy."

"Yeah, that's what the doctor said too."  I heard him sigh.  "I hope those hormonal fluctuations stop as soon as possible and the spots disappear. Samira feels insecure and ashamed of those spots. She covers her arms all the time."

"Is she around?"  I muttered concerned.

"In the car," he replied.  "I'm picking up an ointment for those stains at the pharmacy right now."

"How's the baby? And Mira?"

"They're doing well."  I felt him smile on the other side.  "The baby still taunts Samira here and there by kicking in the belly, but otherwise she is calm."

I felt myself smiling inside.  "That's good to hear."

"As for Mira, she misses you, Zara. We miss you."

I bit my lip to hold back the tears.  "I miss Mira and Samira too."

"Just Mira and Samira?"  teased Faid.

A smile left my mouth.  "Good I miss you too."

He chuckled.

It was quiet for a moment.

"Zara?"

I hummed.

"Have you gone to Louisia yet?"

I knew he would ask for that.  A small sigh left my mouth.  "No."

"Zara, we had agreed that two months ago. If you would visit Lousia once a week, you could stay with Esma."

"Faid, I'm twenty-four," I uttered annoyed.  "I can take care of myself."

"Zara, when I came to pick you up two months ago, you didn't look good. You were broken."  His voice sounded concerned.  "Besides, you're avoiding us. Do you think I don't notice?"

Yes, I was avoiding them because I didn't want to mix them with my problems anymore.  This was the second time that Samira was harassed by me.

I refused to endanger them.

"I'm doing better now."  Lie.  The grip on my phone tightened.  "I- I'll schedule an appointment with Lousia."  Lie.

"Zara-"

I quickly interrupted him when I saw the time on the clock.  "Faid, I'm looking for a lawyer."

"Lawyer?" I heard the car door open.  "For what?"

"I need to know how things are now between Imran and me."  I pressed my nails into my palm.  "Whether we are officially married."

It was quiet for a moment.

"You want to see if Imran's mother was telling the truth."  It was more of a statement than a question.

I swallowed a chunk.  "Yes."

"You doubt her words."

What if she lied?  To get me out of the house.  What if the photo was fake?

Those kinds of thoughts have been running through my head for the past month.

What if Imran didn't cheat on you?  What if I accused Imran of the wrong thing.

What then, huh?

"I just want confirmation, Faid."

If it was a lie, Imran would have come to see me.  told me the truth.

I was torn with myself and felt myself going crazy by the second.

I heard the engine growl from the phone.  "I'll look for you," Faid muttered into the phone again.

I looked from under my eyelashes at the booklet in my hands.  Proof of our possible marriage.  "Okay."

~

[Imran]

I stopped looking from both sides before crossing the street.

I stopped wearing my belt in the car.

I stopped counting the number of cigarettes before lighting them.

No, I didn't try to kill myself -no- but I stopped worrying about myself.

There are plenty of ways to die, but only love can kill and keep you alive to feel it.