You're The Sin, I'm The Sinner

13. Sooner

Gerard's POV

As Frank keeps his journal, I keep mine. I already understand emotions, feelings, and many other things that come with it. Thing is, I keep the journal to keep track of his good and bad days. More of bad moments, he hasn't had any bad days, but these mood swings could because he apparently developed a lot faster than he was supposed to. What was supposed to come with this as well was... Gonna be very difficult.

I was watching TV one day, Frank came down right around the end where the dude confessed his feelings. It was a cliche in my opinion; the pouring rain, the crying, the pining, the feeling of holding your breath while you wait for the most obvious part. Well, just as he came down, he seemed to zone out, watching it from the kitchen and once they kissed, he seemed to frown and brushed his hand over his heart as he walked into the kitchen. I don't know what was going through his mind, but maybe he was already realizing that he had those emotions too.

Whether or not this was true, I could never know, not until I asked him. The thing is, it was more important to explain it to him instead of trying to see what he felt already. It was just a stupid wish, but maybe he already started to feel these kinds of feelings. Just maybe. I knew today was as good as a time as ever since we both technically had the day off. "Hey, Frank. Could you come down for a sec?" I shouted up the stairs, going and sitting on the couch to wait for him. As I saw him bounding down the steps, I kind of smiled at his enthusiasm, seeing his smile once he saw me. "Hey, what's up? Did you wanna go out and fly or something?" He asked, walking towards me with happy steps, his wings twitching a little.

"Hey, yeah, maybe later, alright? Just sit down, I gotta explain something to you," I told him, patting the seat next to me, seeing his slight hesitancy but he suddenly tried to not show it. "Okay, whatcha got?" He asked, sitting and getting comfortable. I took a deep breath and prepared myself for the awkwardness, looking to Frank and seeing him tilting his head a little bit. "Listen, I'm gonna be a bit blunt 'cause I don't want to be uncomfortable- or for you to be uncomfortable for too long, so um- you don't need anyone touching your wings since they aren't molting anymore, no more black feathers coming out," I explained, but it had a little repetition since I was becoming an awkward lecturer. I saw Frank even more confused. "Is it 'cause that's flirting or-?" He asked quietly, and I kind of shook my head at first, stopped, and then nodded a little.

"W-well, if it was flirting, it's a very forward way of flirting," I told him, sighing and looking at him. "It kind of gives angels shocks of... Pleasure. It's preferred for no one to touch anyone's wings, especially if they have an eternity bond," I explained, but I wasn't heavily getting into the subject. Well, I was already in pretty deep, but I wasn't explaining things very well. "Oh, geez- why does it feel like I'm getting the sex talk from my dad again?" Frank whined, and it was obvious he started to get embarrassed a bit. Please don't see me as a dad. I thought briefly as I watched him curl his wings around him weakly.

"I'm just trying to prepare you for when you meet a nice- or not-so-nice angel. I don't want you walking about without the knowledge of what's supposed to happen. I know it's weird to talk about, but I really don't want you to be confused, Frank," I explained, seeing him nod a little bit and sigh as he folded his wings back behind his slender yet short frame. "Okay, I'd like to know about it, but as you said... It's awkward and some stuff is just personal," Frank replied, and of course, I understood, but it was crucial to inform him.

"You're allowed to ask questions, ya know? I don't know what goes on in your head," I said to him quietly, seeing him nod a little and kind of went into a daze as he thought of what he was going to ask. I just wanted to ignore the fact that Frank so conveniently started to bite his lip away from the lip piercing. I blushed and looked away for a minute, letting the immediate thought pass as I waited. "What's an eternity bond?" Frank eventually asked, to which I kind of sat up and tilted my head.

"It's um, well, it's exactly how it sounds. It's a bond that happens to go on for the rest of eternity. This term is for angels though, it's like marriage except it doesn't go until death. It never ends," I explained, looking at Frank and imagining the gears turning in his head. "So, it's with someone you'd want to marry in a sense. But in the afterlife... Do you have someone that you'd spend eternity with?" He asked, kind of avoiding my gaze as he fidgeted with the edge of his wing.

"I do have an angel in mind, but no, I don't. That's why I'm sent here to do assignments, I don't have attachments to stay in heaven with," I informed him, but I kind of regretted answering. Frank nodded, seemingly talking a little bit more even if it embarrassed him, sitting up and looking at me this time. "Why can't you be with them?" He asked, trying his best to keep eye contact. I kind of stopped staring at him and tried to think of a quick response, anything really.

"Um, he- ah, they aren't... Well, I don't know if they relay the feeling," I whispered, brushing it off and looking at Frank again. "Anyway, any more questions?" I asked, rubbing my temple a little as I looked at him, looking at his eyes and seeing he was fixated on me. "... Could you tell me about them?" He asked though I shook my head. "No, I'm here to help you, not for you to pry into my life... Or lack of," I told him, seeing him tilting his head again. At this point, one of us was going to accidentally pop our necks out of place. "But I need some kind of example to know what I'm supposed to feel or what. Please, Gee," Frank pushed, which kind of ticked me off. "Don't. Call. Me. That," I snapped, seeing him retract immediately, his eyes becoming a little red around the rim.

"I-I'm sorry. I see that you're kind of mad, I'm- I'll just leave you be for a little bit," Frank announced, quickly scooting away and practically running up the stairs. I sighed and slumped against the couch, frowning as I curled up against myself. I debated on whether I should go up, but it was obvious he was crying a bit. I couldn't hear him, but I could see it in his eyes. I sighed and got up from the couch, climbing the stairs and going to the end of the hall to Frank's room.

I knocked just barely after a little hesitation, hearing little noises and opening the door a little to see Frank wiping his eyes frantically. "Hey, I wanted to apologize," I whispered, seeing him shake his head. "No, it was my fault, I shouldn't have pushed you like that," Frank explained to me, wiping his eyes and looking up at me. "And I shouldn't have snapped at you like that," I replied, walking into the room and seeing him nod a little.

"You need anything? Alone time, water, food, tissues?" I asked, seeing him stand and kind of hug me, just a little more gentle than I imagined. I wrapped my arms around him, not even expecting him to give me a hug in the first place. Maybe a punch in the face, but not a hug. "Thanks," Frank whispered into my chest, still holding me gently. It seemed like he never wanted to let go, but the thing is, neither did I. "No problem," I whispered to him, rubbing his back gently. It was easy to comfort Frank, I could see that now. He liked physical touch, that was obvious from how it quickly calmed him down.

I knew I couldn't be with him, he didn't understand how love felt, platonic and romantic feelings were hard to sift through. I knew it, but I still had a little hope that would soon diminish with time. For now, I just tried to deny it as much as possible. "You okay now?" I asked quietly, looking down at Frank, his beautiful eyes looking back up at me. "A little bit," He responded, but that was better than before. I smiled and saw him give me a tiny smile back. "You up for going flying a little?" I asked, tilting my head and seeing him nod. "I'll be downstairs, alright?" I announced, hesitantly letting him go and leaving to go get my jacket.

I hoped Frank would figure out I liked him sooner rather than later.