IF YOU DON'T HAVE A VISION
you're going to be stuck in what you know. And the only thing you know is what you've already seen."
IYANLA VANZANT
The large floor-to-ceiling windows of the compound allowed those who inhabited it to look out and see the thick foliage that surrounded the huge building. It brought some comfort, but it also hurt, it hurt to see the world as such peace while such chaos ensued. It hurt to know her family was out there while she was here, stuck. Inside there was a particular red-colored avenger cooking in the overly modern kitchen. His hand stumbles over spices like a doe would when learning to walk, his nose shoved into a recipe for a Sokovian delicacy.
"'A pinch of paprika.' A pinch," he mumbles while dipping his fingers into the red-orange colored spice, pinching a small amount between his fingers and dropping it into the pot. As Vision looked down to see what the recipe called for next Wamda strolled in, sniffing the air gently as a small smile replaced her stressed frown.
"Is that paprikash?" she asked, her gaze fitting to the red-skinned man before her.
"I thought it might," he hesitated, unsure of himself. "Lift your sprints," he said but it came out as more a question. Wanda chuckled as Vision moved to the side to allow her to try some. She stirs the ingredients in the pan for a moment with the black plastic spoon. She lifts the spoon to her lips, blowing gently, and tastes. She smiled, a full toothy stupid-in-love smile that she knew Vision wouldn't understand.
"Spirits lifted," she smiled, looking over towards him while placing the spoon back in the pot.
"In my defense, I haven't actually ever . . . eaten anything before, so . . ." he adds warily.
"May I?" Wanda asks, pointing towards the food.
"Please," he responds. After a short moment of silence Vision finally gathers the courage to speak up.
"Wanda?" he pipes up, looking at her expectantly.
"Hmm," She responds, mind occupied by the assortment of spices to her left.
"No one dislikes you, Wanda," he observes, causing Wanda to frown in curiosity about what he was on about.
"Thanks," she responds dryly.
"Oh, you're welcome. No, it's a, involuntary response in their amygdala. They can't help but be afraid of you." he elaborates, now it makes sense, he's trying to make her feel better about what happened in Lagos.
"Are you?" she asks, finally looking up from the food.
"My amygdala is synthetic, so . . ." he half-jokes, allowing Wanda to let a small giggle fall from her lips.
"I used to think of myself one way. But after this . . . [as she pauses the end of her fingertips take on a crimson mist.] I am something else. I'm still me, I think, but . . . that's not what everyone else sees." she sighs, Wanda has always been unsure of herself but now, she is downright terrified of herself. Vision brings his fingertips to softly grace the yellow mind stone embedded in his head.
"Do you know, I don't know what this is?" he states as the stone starts to glow under the touch of his nimble fingers. "Not really. I know it's not of this world, that it powered Loki's staff, gave you your abilities, but . . . its true nature is a mystery. And yet, it is part of me." he finishes, looking down at Wanda in hopes that she understood that he too carried the burden of being confused by his own body.
"Are you afraid of it?" Wanda ponders aloud, meeting his eyes.
"I wish to understand it. The more I do, the less it controls me. One day . . . who knows? I may even control it." he says, Wanda looks at him with an understanding that makes him feel human and vulnerable. Wanda can feel it to, the pull they have towards one another, the drift that allows their bodies to confide so deeply in the other. It makes her nervous, she can't risk losing another person she loves, she won't. Tearing her stare from his she looks down at the pot of food.
"I don't know what's in this but it is not paprika. I'm gonna go to the store. I'll be back in 20 minutes." she chuckles out the words, her throat felt like it was closing in on itself, begging her not to go but she needed to get away, she needed to think.
"Alternatively, we could order a pizza?" Vision pipes in. Wanda quirks a brow turning back to face him.
"Vision, are you not letting me leave?" she scoffs, mildly sending a glare his way before continuing her way to the door but Vision steps in front of her, body blocking her.
"It is a question of safety," he says, almost as if he was programmed to. All his purely human sparks burned out as fast as they came.
"I can protect myself," Wanda answers, taking a defensive posture, arms crossed and back straightened. Vision grabs her arm tenderly, as she looked up at his gaze she could see the apprehension in his eyes.
"Not yours. Mr. Stark would like to avoid the possibility of another public incident. Until the Accords are on a . . . more secured foundation." He spoke guiltily, his remorse was shown in every bit of his face, like he didn't agree.
"And what do you want?" Wanda inquired, she knew he didn't agree with it but orders were orders.
"For people to see you . . . as I do," he spoke genuinely, but Wanda was having none of it looking up at him gravely. She knew deep down that Vision didn't want to keep her held hostage in the compound but it hurt to know that he'd choose Tony's word over hers. Wanda moved away from him and towards the windows, as she looked out where the water of a pond met the green grass she never felt more lonely. She felt scared, scared of her powers, scared of her lack of control, and scared for the uncertainty that the future held. Especially the future that held Vision.
( 1030 )
( April 6th, 2022 )
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A Troubled Mind
Fanfiction"She wore a troubled past like wings- she had been through hell, and though no one could see her demons, they could see the face that conquered them." -ATTICUS In which two souls find each other during trying times, they lean on each other for suppo...
