YOU DIDN'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING
to make me fall for you. I didn't fall for you because of what you could or couldn't do for me. I fell for you simply because you were unapologetically yourself. I fell for your beautiful soul and big heart. I love you for everything that you are and everything that you're
not. You're so perfectly flawed, but also perfectly you.
UNKNOWN
True to his word, my husband had decided to settle down with me. As soon as the both of us recovered he took me to the small village he had told me about seeing when I woke up. It was small and the houses were farther apart, but I felt at home here, I felt safe here and that was a rare thing now. I never thought in a million years I'd ever feel safe again, but here with James looking for a home with him, I'd never felt so human, so alive.
"What do ya think, darlin'," James asked, pulling me from my thoughts.
"I love it." I smiled. "I love you," I said, turning to look into his eyes as I spoke, I wanted him to hear what I had said. The house he was asking about with a tiny bungalow, small enough for a single queen bed, a single nightstand, a dresser, and a small bassinet in the far corner. There was also a tiny bathroom that only held a sink, shower, and toilet. It was fit enough for three, which is also something James had promised me, a family, a baby of our own to hold. We'd have to adopt, obviously, but it was worth it just to have the opportunity to accept a child. We were always afraid we would hurt a child if we ever got one, scared that if the soldiers ever appeared, we'd be devastated by what was left in their wake.
"Don't go somewhere I can't," James whispered, close in my ear, then he pulled me to the bed. "What's going on up there, dahlia," James asked, grabbing my hands to hold them in his.
"Just thinkin' bout' us starting a family." I smiled. "I'm not scared of them anymore, not after what Ayo and Shuri did. I don't feel her anymore," I murmured, looking down at our intertwined fingers.
"I don't either," he spoke suddenly, breaking the silence that had started to settle over the room. "It scared me at first, but then I felt this- this relief. It was like I could finally rest and figure out who I am now, after everything." He smiled in return, taking a finger to tilt my head and meet his gaze. "It's always you," he whispered, moving closer. "Today." He pressed a kiss to my lips. "Tomorrow." Another kiss. "In a hundred years, it doesn't matter because as long as your here by my side, I'll love you forever my dahlia. You are my forever and always," he said, repeating the mantra attached to our fingers.
"You have my heart and soul, James Buchanan Barnes," I tearfully spoke, pulling him into me, wanting him closer, wanting more. I pulled the blanket/door closed before grabbing James and throwing him onto the bed.
"Eager are we," he chuckled, grabbing my hips as I straddled him.
"Shhh," I shushed, leaning down to press a kiss to his lips. James moaned into the kiss as I pressed my hips into his out of pure want. I stayed attached to his lips, our tongues fighting for dominance as I continued to grind my hips against his, earring low mewls of pleasure that sent heat straight to my core.
"I want ya so bad, sugar," James moaned as I moved my lips from his to trail kisses from his neck to his chest. Stopping at his nipples I sucked one into my mouth, swirling my tongue around the bud, biting, and licking as James moaned in pleasure under me. My hands fumbled with his belt for a moment, but once I got it unbuckled I moved onto his other nipple, using the same ministrations and getting those beautiful responses. "Hunny, stop teasing," James whined as his body shook with need, with want, and it was all for me. Everything about me, from the way my eyes sparkled to the way my eyebrows scrunched when I was focused or confused, every little thing about me made his whole body ignite and it was all because he loved me- no. Love wasn't enough, it was too small for how he felt about me. There was no word that would ever be sufficient enough, but he'd show me, every day for as long as he was alive.
"Okay," I breathed, pulling his pants down, kissing along his inner thighs.
"Allison," he groaned, pulling at my head, begging.
"Sorry," I mumbled, kissing my way back up to his exposed length. I placed a featherlight kiss to the tip, making James groan, and thrust his hips into the air. I placed a few more kisses against him after that, then, just to mess with him, I took his whole length into my mouth. James let out a primal growl so loud I was scared the children would hear, but I did my best not to think about it as I continued to take him, hollowing out my cheeks and sucking him down my throat, I held him there for a moment, allowing him to feel the pulse of my throat until it became unbearable. When I pulled away, James had thought I never looked so gorgeous, the way the glow from the gaps in the blanket lit my skin in a yellow glow, my tear-stained cheeks, my heaving chest, and the little bits of slobber and precum that were stuck to my chin, he almost came right then and there by just looking at me. Then I took him in my mouth again, sucking him down my throat a second time, but this time I looked up at him, with big eyes and he lost it, spilling himself down my throat. I swallowed every bit of him sucking him for a few more moments to clean him before it became too much and he pulled you off of him.
"I wanna," he whispered, breathless as he pulled at my clothes.
"No." I smiled. "That was just for you, so you know how much I love you," I whispered, pulling his face close to my chest. "Baby I heard you, even when I first went down, and I hurt you, I caused you pain, I could hear it, and it nearly broke me. I want you to know that I love you, James, so much, forever." I pulled his head forward so I could place a gentle, loving kiss on his forehead, but James tilted his head, kissing me on the lips.
"I love you, don't ever feel bad, Darlin', you came back to me and that is all that matters." He smiled, pulling me down to snuggle under the covers of our new home.
( 1186 )
( July 14th, 2022 )
YOU ARE READING
A Troubled Mind
Fanfic"She wore a troubled past like wings- she had been through hell, and though no one could see her demons, they could see the face that conquered them." -ATTICUS In which two souls find each other during trying times, they lean on each other for suppo...
