YOU LEARNED TO RUN FROM WHAT YOU FEEL,
that's why you have nightmares. To deny is to invite madness. To accept is to control.
MEGAN CHANCE
"Nодготовить ее к машине и разбуди его. Я хочу их копию, и я хочу их сейчас!" (Prep her for the machine and wake him. I want their copy and I want them now) Doctor Zola's voice boomed as he paced back and forth. They'd put the soldier under while they trained the girl's brain and now that she was ready Zola was anxiously awaiting their offspring.
"Немедленно доктор!" (Right away doctor) the officer replied, marching off to relay the doctor's orders to the rest of the men.
Allison was trapped and out of ideas. As several guards drug her weak and beaten body to the chair she knew all too well her eyes started to water, she knew that every time they put her in that chair she lost more and more of herself. Allison's resolve had disintegrated after the several hours of her fight against the zapping her brain had to endure. She was starting to fade, and after the beating, her body endured she knew she was done for. Allison's body was weak and her mind felt like it had been shoved into a blender and blended until it was nothing but slush.
Allison could barely remember her life or even her name by the time they were done, but she held on until she couldn't anymore, it was now that she gave up the fight. It was now that she let her body slump and let her feet drag as they pulled her into the chair. She was ready to become no one. She was ready to become what they wanted her to be because she was tired. She was so tired of fighting it. She was ready to forget and let it take over. So that's what she did, and now she was gone, it only remained, it was in control now.
Just like when Allison was back in the red room, she wasn't her, no. She was it. She was the Widow. But Hydra didn't know about the widow, and she wasn't going to tell them willingly. They wanted her to be a mindless soldier, but little did they know that she was already that. She was already a mindless soldier. She had just gotten free just to be ripped away and shoved back into its mindset. It was hell but that's what she deserved, maybe Allison had done something to deserve this but she couldn't for the life of her figure out what.
It stood there awaiting a mission report order or a new assignment but didn't get one, instead, it was told to follow a guard. It walked robotically and its stare was blank as he led it to a small concrete room. There was a queen-sized bed with grime and other stains littered it on the right side of the room, while the soldier stood in the middle staring blankly at the wall also awaiting orders. The guard walked it next to him before giving them their orders.
"Солдат, вдова, тебе приказано: Предстоит операция «Семейное древо». Ты понимаешь?" (Soldier, Widow, your orders are as follows; Operation family tree is to be carried out. Do you understand?) The guard explained before looking at both of them awaiting their answer. "Готов выполнить вашу команду, сэр." (Ready to comply at your command sir.) they both firmly replied, awaiting go ahead.
With a stern head nod, they both turned towards the bed making their way over to it as the guard walked out of the room and latched the door closed.
───── ⋆⋅🥀⋅⋆ ─────
"James!" I shouted, launching myself up into a sitting position, panting, and drenched in sweat.
"Dahlia? Are you ok," James whispered as he gabbed my hand and pulled me in, rocking me back and forth in a comforting manner.
"Another nightmare- or a memory. They had us-" I shuttered, shaking. I had no idea where to even begin to process what I'd just, seen? Or remembered? We both had become accustomed to the nightmares but this- this was beyond something I had ever experienced. This made me scared beyond belief, it was the one thing I promised myself I would never be again, scared.
"I know darlin', I remember too, but you gotta breathe," His comforting voice grounded me, his touch helping me from slipping back into the numb shadow of a person I longed to be sometimes. Just before I could debate if it would be better to be numb James flipped me towards him, stroking my cheek. His secret meaning was made loud and clear; please don't leave. My breathing was hectic and shallow, I was going to pass out if I didn't calm down. I knew that much but the indescribable panic that flooded my body made it impossible to think about anything, let alone rational thoughts. James always had a way of seeing this, of knowing what it looked like if I was starting to slip away, even if I didn't, and he always pulled me back. This time was no different as he leaned over and grabbed ahold of my clammy hands, placing them on his chest, over his heart. He then held his hand over mine, creating a slight pressure to make sure I could feel the steady thrum of his heart and the full, deep breaths he was taking. "Breathe with me, Darlin'," James asked, continuing to take slow, deep breaths. But no matter how loud my mind screamed my body refused to notice, continuing it's erratic behavior and completely disregarding my husbands efforts to calm me down. "I need you to breathe for me baby, please," he pleaded, I closed my eyes forcefully and listened to his deep slow breaths, focusing on his steady heartbeat, and the soothing touch of his calloused hands. I was home, I was safe, and it was all going be ok because we had each other. Only once my breathing slowed and I felt myself physically relax in his arms, did James decide to speak again. "You did great Dahlia, I'm so proud of you," he whispered as he pressed a soft kiss on my forehead, scared he'll take away the air I had just got back if he pressed one to my lips.
"I love you," I whispered, giving him a gentle kiss on the lips. My own meaning behind it made completely clear; I'm ok now, your not going to hurt me. He smiled and laid the two of us back down, still holding me close.
"I love you too, Dahlia," he murmured as I fell back into sleep, the both of us clinging to the other. Hoping that the warmth of each other would keep the nightmares at bay if only for a little while. He grounded me, he made me feel safe, and he chased the nightmares away. His touch was like a drug, and as soon as I felt his skin on mine, it felt like I could breathe deeper and my mind felt more clear. He's my air and my serenity. Without him, I'd be in a constant state of anxiety, my lungs always feeling like they would caving in. James was the only thing I clung to for life, and without him, I'd have already put a bullet through my skull. He saved me...nightmares be dammed.
( 1251.)
( April 28th, 2022 )
YOU ARE READING
A Troubled Mind
Fanfiction"She wore a troubled past like wings- she had been through hell, and though no one could see her demons, they could see the face that conquered them." -ATTICUS In which two souls find each other during trying times, they lean on each other for suppo...
