east of eden 𑁋 salvis.

XVI

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by the way, sal's heart thing is ebstein anomaly. it's pretty rare, i'm doing research on it to try to portray it correctly. but if you want a more accurate/better explanation of what it is, i'd recommend googling it because this fic won't focus too much on it, until it starts getting worse. and even then it won't go into much detail about the disease itself, just how it's affecting sal.

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Travis lives heavily now, with the knowledge of Sal's illness. With the knowledge their remaining time is limited, and nothing can be done about it. Absolutely nothing. He lives with anxiety pounding in his stomach and tears resting in his eyes. Yet somehow they don't fall. Not until he's home, after having a tense conversation with his father, and in his room. That's when the tears fall. That's when Travis sobs loudly.

He's going to lose Sal. After months of tormenting Sal, Travis never thought he'd see a day where knowing Sal would be gone would actually hurt him. Yet it did. Here it was, that day was here. He was hurt over the knowledge of the inevitable.

Travis didn't know what to do. He didn't want to lose Sal. And he was sure Sal didn't want to be lost, either. But the two were teenagers, Travis, just turned eighteen, and Sal almost there as well. They were young and hopeless, the world holding them hostage. They didn't have choices. Not anymore, like when they were kids and they were free. Now, they were no longer free to make the choices they wanted.

Travis just wanted more time. He thought he'd get to have a life of time, a life of being able to muster up the courage to accept he's gay, to admit the things he couldn't bring himself to even stomach now. But his time, at least his time with Sal, was running out. It was going to be gone soon. Too soon.

The thought raises a sour feeling in his stomach. Travis swallows it down, but it burns in his throat. More tears prickle his eyes. The reality of this whole thing just keeps hitting him, over and over again. Sal's going to be gone. Forever. Forever.

Travis shakes his head, stopping abruptly in his tracks. He was pacing before, pacing as he thought. But he can't just stay here and keep thinking about this-It wouldn't do anything. He needed to take his mind off of it, at least just for a little bit. It'd make him feel better. He could think better about how to spend his remaining time with Sal if he was thinking more clearly, which he could only do if he distracted himself.

Luckily, Travis hadn't taken the time to even toe off his shoes before he'd begun his breakdown, so rather than wasting time layering up to leave, he just left. He beelines it to his window, sliding it open as quietly as possible, and climbs out. Sure, he probably shouldn't be doing that, considering he had a cast on, but he didn't care. He wants to go see Sal.

He just barely misses the rose bush beneath his window, sighing when he lands on his back and in the cold snow. It was freezing, considering it was mid November, there was three inches of snow on the ground, and Travis was wearing only a sweater, jeans, and a pair of sneakers.

Travis lays there for a moment and just lets the cold embrace him. The snow soaks through his clothes, raising goosebumps along his arms and legs. It was cold, freezing. But it brought brief clarity to his mind. Or at least, it changed his train of thought from Sal's fate, to rather, how fucking cold it was outside right now.

Travis eventually got up, when he could no longer feel his fingers or toes or face, though that wasn't really why he got up. He did it because he could hear Kenneth banging on his bedroom door through the open window. It echoed down to him, signaling to Travis that he really needed to get a move on, or he was fucked.

He stands, brushing some snow filled hair out of his face, and he slowly walks away. He hears Kenneth yell his name, chancing a look back, just to get a glance of Kenneth looking right at him, yelling. Kenneth's face was red, clearly pissed. Yet Travis couldn't bring himself to care, just continuing to slowly walk towards Addison Apartments.

When he finally reaches his destination, he knocks, but no one opens the door. He knocks again, only for the same thing. So he just decides fuck it, and walks inside.

It's quiet inside. Travis walks to Sal's room, slowly opening the door. He almost expected something bad, maybe for Sal to already have met his fate. Luckily, Travis saw Sal was okay, just crying. Larry was in the room too, face matching Sal's. Tear stained and angry. Though neither of them really looked angry at someone, more so at the universe. At God, if there was one. For giving him this fate. For giving him a fucked up heart.

The two looked up as Travis entered. Larry glared a bit at him, but the gaze really held no malice. It seemed he was too upset to be angry right now. Travis was grateful for that, at the very least.

"Hey, Trav.. What're you doing here?" Sal asks quietly, attempting a smile towards Travis. It's wobbly, clearly strained. Travis shrugs, though he does know why he's here. He's here because he's afraid of Sal dying. He's afraid Sal may meet his end while Travis isn't around.

"Just.." Travis doesn't finish what he's saying, because Sal nods grimly after the first word's out. He knows what Travis is thinking. Sal lifts a hand, reaching out towards Travis. Signaling for Travis to come sit next to him on his bed. Travis nods, doing exactly that and taking residence beside Sal.

Sal puts his head on Travis' shoulder, just like earlier. Larry watches the two with an odd gaze, almost like he knows something Travis doesn't. Travis doesn't even try to ask about it, he knows he wouldn't get very far.

The three sit in silence for a bit. Finally Larry sniffs, pushing himself off the wall he was leaning against before. He rubs at his face, rubbing away the salty tears and wiping his nose. His face is still red, eyes still puffy, it's still obvious he was crying. But Travis doesn't say that. He doesn't want to piss Larry off.

"Well uh- I'll leave you two alone." He murmurs, voice scratchy, thick with tears. It cracks halfway through, clearly he's still on the verge of crying. Travis is sure he's going downstairs, to his apartment, where he's going to cry and drink himself to sleep. Either that or smoke so much weed he can hardly function. Maybe he'll do a bit of both.

Travis nods, looking over at Sal to see if he was going to respond. Sal's face was numb, one eye cloudy, the other just numb looking. Artificial looking, even. Travis reasoned that Sal must have a fake eye.

Sal hardly looked like he was still here. In reality. It seemed like he was lost in the depths of his own mind. Or maybe he just wasn't even in there at all. Maybe, just like Travis was sometimes, Sal was gone. He wasn't quite in his body.

Travis sighed, getting the sudden urge to kiss Sal. He didn't know why, but he did. And the urge made him sick. He ignored it though, instead wrapping an arm around Sal and attempting a hug. Sal didn't reciprocate it, but he didn't push Travis away either. He even scooted a little closer, a small smile tugging at his lips. It was small, faint. Travis would've missed it if he hadn't been staring at Sal's lips.

Larry finally leaves, closing the bedroom door behind him with a faint click. And then Sal and Travis were alone.

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