east of eden 𑁋 salvis.

XXXVIII

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small filler. next chapter is the last.

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After breakfast was done with, the three dispersed to get dressed. Travis' hands shook as he pulled a sweater over his head, and they did not stop even as he buttoned his jeans. For what felt like the millionth time since Sal had passed, Travis was extremely anxious. He felt like he was going to projectile vomit all over the porcelain tile on the floor. He gripped the sink in front of him, suppressing sobs. He was about to go shopping for funeral attire.. That he would wear to his boyfriend's funeral.

Travis wasn't sure he had ever hated life more than he did in these moments. That wasn't true, though.. And he knew it. He had hated life much more over the course of growing up, every time his father's fist landed against his face. This was mild in comparison to how much Travis had hated living in that period of time. And yet, he still hated it in these moments. He hated that Sal had to have died, leaving behind nothing but memories. Travis would have nothing of Sal's to hang on to except what they ran away with.. Which wasn't much. Just some clothes, mostly. Although, Travis had taken Sal's prosthetic and stowed it away before he ran off to the police station.

Maybe it was a stupid thing to hold on to, but it was the closest thing Travis had to even a picture of Sal. He hoped Larry would maybe be able to sneak into Sal's apartment and get some things for Travis to hold on to, or something. Maybe a picture or two? Travis wasn't fully sure, but God would he love to have pictures of Sal. Larry had to have some somewhere, he was sure. Travis just wished he had some of his own. He regretted never having bought a camera. In the moments when they were runaways, Sal's inevitable death was a watered down worry in Travis' mind, and he had not stopped to think of what he would want of Sal when Sal was gone.