Forelsket

29: She keeps me warm

TW: This chapter contains some mentions of suicide, feel free to scroll to the next page.

Sakura's POV:

I woke up at around quarter to four  in the morning to Chaen possessively hugging me as she slept. I smiled at her hold on me, she hasn't moved one bit, she must've been tired sleeping on her side like this. I tried to move so she could be comfortable, but she tightened her old on me. Not allowing me to move even an inch. In a bit, one of her kids will be knocking on my door to ask for breakfast, I faced her and whispered I needed to get up and prepare breakfast for her kids, unless she wanted to prepare the breakfast herself. Her hold considerably loosened. She giggled and opened her eyes, surprising me, she was easy to wake up.

"Hi, good morning." She greets me.

"Hi, were you awake this whole time?" I asked her.

"Light sleeper." She replied and nodded.

"Was it always like that?" I replied to her.

"No." She replied.

I kept quiet to allow her to say something else apart from her short reply.

"Alex, the Half American Half Korean trainee, her Korean name is Kang Seri and had she made it through and debuted, she planned to use Alex Kang as her stage name, she shot herself at one of WM's practice room and since then I sleep lightly in case one of my kids needed an ear or someone to talk to or in case of an emergency like Wonyoung's vomiting the other night." She replied to me.

Her voice was laced with sadness as she continued to speak softly.

"Alex, gave us letters, before she killed herself. She said that all of us were busy with practice, she hopes that we took time for each other to stop and genuinely care for each other, to talk and resolve matters, before it became like hers, too big and unsolvable." She replied and chuckles bitterly at the memory.

"Babo, if she asked me, I would've helped her, I was dealing with the loss of Yerin and The Cheating of Giselle, I was dealing with my emotions too. Add to the fact that the other trainees think of me as a Fat Flab of Shame, Shame on me for dating Giselle. But, I would've helped her." 23She replied.

"That is long over, just talk to your kids when you notice something's wrong. You know all of them by now, it isn't hard to notice if something is wrong, right?" I replied to her.

"I'll try to." She replied smiling.

"Let's get up and start preparing breakfast, before your kids wake us up. Come on." I replied to her and stood up.

I entered the bathroom to brush my teeth and brush my hair. She followed me, reaching for her own toothbrush she had on her overnight pouch. She smiled before putting some toothpaste on her toothbrush and brushing her teeth, matching my pace and once she was done, she places a soft kiss on my forehead and told me she's going to the Kitchen to prepare breakfast for us and to have her driver take our clothes to the laundry shop. I only nodded at her and watched as she leaves my room. She has a complicated life for the last five years, that it has become customary for her to sleep lightly after Alex the American-Korean Mixed kid killed herself. I thought about it for a moment and placed myself in her shoes, I would've never slept if I was put on the spot same as hers, I would probably followed through killing myself if I would've experienced something like she did, the guilt will probably eat me alive and bury my bones in a pit of fire and hell, I was a weak person, unlike her who was strong and firm, I would probably lose it if I was put on the same spot as hers. I made my way to my kitchen and found her already beating some eggs. I approached her to help her prepare our meals but I was met with a silent look and a head shake no.