Forelsket

33: D-Day 4-3 (Chaeyeon)

TW: This chapter contains mentions of violence against women, suicide and rape. You can skip the parts where it is mentioned.

Chaeyeon's POV:

I was approached by a peculiar request to go to Alex Unnie's Grave last night. It was my first time ever to go there, ever since I found her at the training room, I shutdown myself from anyone, even the people I was closest with, if it weren't for me being the leader, I wouldn't have the energy to even feed myself something. Minju shared to me why Alex Unnie killed herself after making me listen to Alex Unnie's song she wanted to release together with our album and after agreeing to go with them to Alex Unnie's Gravesite. To say that I was astonished by her reasons was an understatement, I was angry and a mixture of pity for my Unnie.

It explained briefly why I began to see changes in Alex Unnie, two years prior to her taking her own life, she became distant and stopped her funny antics. She'd always say she was fine whenever we noticed her. We all just nodded at that and continued with life. Five years of not knowing what happened to her and her mind. A day ago, when I found out about why Alex Unnie killed herself, I requested to the CEO, My uncle that we record another track on the mini album which was Yume Wo Miteiru Aida, Alex Unnie's composition, but she wanted Minju to write the lyrics and for Kim Minju to be credited for the song.

I talked with my uncle about it and thankfully he agreed to do it, we told him we will take care of the line distribution ourselves. In reality, I wanted Minjoo to take over this process because she was the one who composed the lyrics, she would know who was best to sing the lines. So, I let Minju do her thing, we recorded today and she facilitated the recording, directing everyone on how to sing their parts. Yuri, Yena, Chaewon and Eunbi did a great job on recording the song, it came out beautifully, with Minju and the sound staff tweaking the mix and arrangement. Minju did a great job when we monitored our vocals, the song had come out with all the emotions we needed for Alex Unnie, who hid all her pain well and smiled though her entire being was stuck on the night she was raped.

We are now back in our dorms after a long day we had, we've been to Alex Unnie's final resting place, we've been to the recording booth to record everything, we practiced and we also had dinner already. It was Tuesday today when I went to Unnie's Resting place for the first time since five years ago. The wind blew past Kura-chan and I when I introduced her to Alex Unnie. Then a light feeling took over me, washing away all the guilt I had with her death, it was as if the bullet that was permanently lunged into her brain, did make an exit and the bullet went through our own hearts. That's how it always felt for me and Kwangbae, Minju and Eunbi Unnie we were directly impacted of her death, like a domino effect when one domino piece was pushed, everyone gets affected by it and everyone had a scar.

My chest might've exploded out of fear and pain when I saw her dead body splayed at the practice room on the fourth floor of WM Entertainment, her brain scattered all over the place, her tear stained cheeks, evident. How long had she been crying? How long had she been suffering? These two questions were what I had for her, which she answered through her letter to Minju. She didn't disclose who were the guy friends that did this to her, probably to keep me from killing them for her, she knows I would kill anyone for them. A memory of her popped into my head, like an old video tape it played inside my mind.

***Flashback to Seven Years ago, two years prior Alex's Death***

"Unnie! Unnie! We'll be late for practice! Come on, Unnie, Hurry up!" I knocked to her dorm's door.

It was winter in Korea and the festivities for Christmas were beginning, we had one last practice before we are dismissed to go home to our families and join them for Christmas. She opened her door looking like she had a rough night, she smiled weakly at me and linked her arms with me.