Side By Side

4

Warnings:
-None

Clay's POV

~ A Few Days Later ~

The last days had genuinely been terrible. I had such bad flashbacks to the army that I slept poorly and screamed when I woke up again. To distract myself from the terrible anxiety, flashbacks and pain I had from those memories, I started learning more sign language.

I was so focused on pushing the memories away that I studied sign language for hours a day, rehabilitating one hour a day next to that. I couldn't do much during therapy because my wounds were still healing. I couldn't get prosthetic legs yet because that would hurt a lot and damage the wounds.

I was studying sign language again while I leaned against Sapnap's body and a few pillows so I wouldn't fall down. Sapnap had his arm around me, looking with me to learn more sign language to communicate better with me.

I looked up at him. 'How are you today?' I signed to him.

'I'm okay. My arm is hurting a bit less, but the doctor gave me medication,' he signed back.

I smiled shortly and rested my head on his shoulder, lifting my hands up again. 'I wish I could just take a shower.'

He nodded. 'I can lay you down in the shower with your chest and head. I can get these things they use for casts too. The doctor gave me a few.'

I focused on his lips after a while and then nodded. I smiled as he stood up and came back with two waterproof bags that I could put over my bandages so my wounds wouldn't get wet.

Sapnap washed me almost every day and since we had to change clothes next to each other in the army a lot anyway, we both didn't mind. After being shot and almost dying my smallest worry was Sapnap seeing my body right now. I just wanted to shower.

Sapnap picked me up and put me down on his arm. I held the waterproof bags as he carried me upstairs and laid me down on my bed before going into the bathroom.

He started signing again. 'I'm getting a blanket for you so I can lay you down in the bathroom.'

I nodded slowly as he walked away, coming back with multiple thick and soft blankets. He gave them to me as he picked me up again. He carried me to the bathroom and laid the blankets down.

He carefully let my back rest on the blankets as I pulled off my shirt. He turned the shower on and helped me undress, putting the waterproof bags over my bandages. I was picked up again and he pulled his shirt off, putting a bag around his arm too since he needed to hold me so I wouldn't choke on the water or fall down.

He put me down on the shower floor and made me sit in the corner, holding me with his hand. He let go of me for a second and smiled.

'Is it nice to sit in the shower again?' he signed.

I nodded heavily and smiled at him. He leaned into the shower and grabbed my sponge and soap to wash me. I just closed my eyes to enjoy the water that ran down my body as Sapnap washed me and my hair.

Once I was done, he turned the shower off and picked me up, drying me off and then put on my clothes. He tapped my shoulder to get my attention.

'Was the shower nice?' he signed.

I nodded happily and he picked me up again, taking me with him to my room. He laid me on my bed and I rolled myself to my side to show him I wanted to cuddle with him and he smiled, pulling me closer.

'Do you want to lay on my chest?' he signed, knowing my parents always did that when I was scared at night now. I was very short and light so they barely felt me laying down on their chest.

I nodded at him and he lifted me up onto his chest. I rested my head under his chin and closed my eyes as I held his waist tightly to feel safe.

Sapnap started rubbing my back and I looked up at him, being too close to him to see what he was signing, so I looked at his lips instead.

'Are you comfortable?'

I stared at his lips to look at what he said and he grinned, suddenly leaning in. He gave me a kiss on my forehead with a teasing smile on his face.

I rolled my eyes at him and frowned as he seemed to laugh.

'You're so intensely staring at my lips,' I read from his lips. 'Just kissing the homies.'

I giggled softly. 'Thank you for not caring about my sexuality,' I whispered, hoping he'd understand me.

He nodded and kissed my hair again. 'A girl can kiss a girl's cheek or forehead, so can boys. I love you, you're my buddy and a brother to me.'

I smiled shyly. 'My brother,' I mumbled.

I laid my head back down so I didn't know if he was talking to me. I closed my eyes as he started running his hand through my hair because he knew I liked that. My parents sat with me for hours during the night and then laid me down on their chest while massaging my back or running their hand through my hair.

I was often really scared to sleep but when someone was with me when I went to bed, I felt safer when I knew someone held me and could comfort me when I got sad.

Sapnap rolled more to his side and held me tightly. He tapped my shoulder softly so I'd look up to his lips again.

'You're safe with me, okay? Do you feel completely comfortable?'

I nodded softly and kept looking to see if he would say anything else.

'I'm here to calm you down, you are safe in your room and no one will hurt you. If you have pain, tap my shoulder.'

I nodded again and smiled softly, laying back down. He didn't tap my shoulder anymore and I had my eyes closed while his hand ran through my hair again.

After a short while, I finally dozed off to sleep. I felt safe while someone I trusted held me on their chest when I went to sleep.

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