Side By Side

14

Warnings:
-Mentions (child) abuse/sexual assault (Sapnap's story at home)

Clay's POV

'Alright, are you ready?' the sergeant yelled out as Sapnap and I stood next to each other, ready to run the two miles.

'Yes, sergeant!' I yelled, panting softly because we just did the sit-ups and the push-ups too.

'Start!'

We both ran off as fast as we could and I started stressing when I saw Sapnap pass me. I needed to push further, I couldn't be too late.

You can't do anything, Clay. Do you actually think they would let someone who is gay and weak join the army? Just quit immediately, you're not going to make it. You won't get anywhere in your life, just remember that.

The voices in my head made me so much stronger. I groaned and then sped up, passing by Sapnap this time. He looked at me with a smile and I went as fast as I could, speeding up more and more.

Before I even realised it, I ran over the finish line and let myself fall down on the ground while panting loudly.

'I believe that you gave everything you had in you,' the sergeant smiled as he looked at me.

He glanced at Sapnap and clicked his timer again when he finished too.

'What made you go so fast?' the sergeant asked as he knelt down next to me to check if I was alright.

'The motivation that everyone thought I couldn't do it because I'm gay and now also because I have amputated legs,' I panted.

'You finished in fourteen minutes and fifty-six seconds. Sapnap, you finished in fifteen minutes and eight seconds. That means you both passed this test. We are going to some other physical and practical tests to see if you won't be a danger in the army.'

~~~

After a long day full of tests, the sergeant called us back to him while we were eating something.

'Don't quit eating,' he smiled as he walked up to us. 'I can make this long and annoying, but I won't. You both passed all the tests and I got your previous test results from the boot camp. Both of you beat four of your old records. Sapnap beat his record on running by twenty seconds and Clay did eight push-ups more than he did last time in two minutes.'

We both smiled brightly as we took another bite and then sat back. 'So...' I started. 'This means we can join the army?'

The sergeant nodded slowly. 'You're returning soldiers so you won't have to go through the boot camp again, unless you forgot things. If you did, please tell me now. We did a lot of those tests too and you know how to defend yourself, how to use a weapon and so on. I don't think there's anything you can't do.'

I smiled happily and looked at Sapnap who held me tightly. 'I knew we could do it, even though we might have lost our limbs.'

'Actually,' the sergeant started. 'There's a girl who joined the army a few weeks ago. There was one bisexual boy who joined too, but he got injured during the boot camp and quit. Not sure if he will come back, but he might.'

'Did more girls join?' I asked.

'One actually passed the tests, two didn't and there's three other girls in the boot camp right now,' he smiled. 'They are really good.'

I nodded. 'I'm still so proud that I'm the first gay soldier who also doesn't have legs anymore,' I chuckled. 'Can it be worse than this?'

The sergeant laughed and softly hit my shoulder. 'Finish eating and go back to your parents. I figure they brought you here?'

'Yeah, they are waiting somewhere in the back,' I answered as Sapnap nodded to confirm what I said.

'They are also my parents now!' Sapnap exclaimed happily. He kept telling this to people because he was so happy and proud of it.

'I heard,' the sergeant answered. 'I believe your situation at home wasn't too great so I'm really glad they took you in and adopted you.'

Sapnap stared at his hands. 'Do you remember that you almost wanted to stop me from joining the army because of my hospital history? Because you thought I was very clumsy?'

The sergeant nodded. 'I think you've gone to the hospital about forty times...'

'That was all because of my parents. I'm just very glad I still got the chance because I didn't want to, and I wasn't allowed to, tell anyone that my parents beat me so I had to make up an excuse.'

'Dude...' I whispered. 'What did they do to you, man?'

He sighed softly and tapped the table. He never told anyone what happened to him, not even me. He avoided the topic because it made him cry.

I saw tears in his eyes and I was about to speak up as he shushed me.

'Every time I didn't listen to them, I didn't get food for a few days. They punished me by picking me up, holding me above the stairs and then they dropped me. If I couldn't hold myself, then I'd fall down all the way and they'd laugh. If I did hold myself, they kicked me down anyway...'

We turned completely quiet and Sapnap didn't seem to be done talking yet.

'I remember that they once undressed me so I was only wearing my boxers and then they threw me outside in the snow while it was snowing and there was a storm. When I passed out from hypothermia, someone found me and called an ambulance.'

No one said anything as Sapnap finally vented about his feelings.

'You know... it might sound really stupid and I was afraid no one would believe me but... my uh- mother sexually assaulted me...'

I immediately wrapped my arm around his shoulders as he started sobbing.

'Multiple times... then she-. Never mind.'

'You can tell us,' I whispered, kissing his hair very softly as he nodded.

'Everyone just walked in when I was in the shower and my mother then- made me do things to myself while my dad often just stood there. When it took her too long, she touched me and held her hand on my mouth so I couldn't scream for help.'

He reached out to grab my hand.

'Ever since that day, I got so insecure about myself that I started showering with my clothes on. She never did it after that, but she did it multiple times before it. I thought I wouldn't be able to join the army because you needed to shower and change clothes together.'

'But you did it,' I smiled. 'What made you?'

'I didn't do it,' he admitted. 'I never changed clothes and acted like I did. I only trusted you so much that I let you help me when I needed help.'

'I love you, brother,' I whispered, kissing his face multiple times.

He giggled and pushed me away. 'That's enough!' he wheezed when I kept going to tease him and cheer him up. 'My homie is a bit gay.'

'I'm so fruity,' I grinned in the "gayest" voice I was able to use. 'Anyway, kissing the homies isn't gay!'

Sapnap nodded with a smile and then pressed a kiss on my hair. 'I know and I love you too.'

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