Side By Side

7

Warnings:
-None

Clay's POV

~ A Few Days Later ~

I was softly crying in my bed, hitching my breath every time I needed to breathe in. No one was with me last night and I woke up from the fifth nightmare. I kept seeing the moment before I was blown up, I saw the moment I got shot and the grenades flew around me.

Even though I was deaf, I could still imagine the sounds in my head. I heard the explosions like a delusion and thought it was real which caused me to sob and sometimes scream out of nowhere. I had no idea how loudly I screamed, but it was a reflex from my body.

My body was numb from the pain inside. I was so incredibly heartbroken from everything that happened that I squeezed my sheets to process the pain.

Even after everything that happened, I still wanted to go into the army. I read that people with amputated legs or arms were allowed to as long as they beat the physical tests but deaf people weren't...

My doctor explained to me that I would most likely need surgery to get implants. A hearing aid would probably not work because I was completely deaf. I knew I would be able to join the army with implants. I would just hide them and act like I wasn't deaf.

I sobbed even louder as I realised my dream was most likely over. They would never let me join again with two prosthetic legs and implants because I was deaf.

Tears streamed down my face and my chest got so tight that I needed to get some water. I tried to get up, but then I fell down on the floor. I tried to roll to my side to lift myself up, but I was too weak from crying.

It made me so frustrated that I couldn't get up that I slammed my hand on the floor. There was someone with me every night and just now there wasn't someone for one time, I needed to be this upset and fall down too.

I laid on my stomach and pushed myself to my side, getting up slowly. I was really cold and I wanted to get a blanket, but I couldn't reach the blankets in my closet.

Eventually, I gave up and pushed myself to my door to get some water while I cried loudly. I was so sad and the flashbacks kept going and going that I let myself fall on the floor to lay down while my chest was awfully tight.

After laying down on the floor for a few minutes, I saw someone's door open. I looked up to see Sapnap walk up to me with a sleepy face. He lifted me up and put me down on his arm as I wrapped my arms around his waist.

He brought me back to my room and I made the sign for water. He understood me and walked to the bathroom, coming back with a glass of cold water. I drank some of it and he put it away, laying on my bed.

He picked me up and put me down on his chest, gently lifting my head up so I would look at his hand.

'You're almost getting the test for your hearing,' he signed with a soft smile. 'Maybe you can hear with implants.'

I smiled softly as he wiped my tears away. He gently pushed my head on his chest and kissed my hair softly, running his fingers through my hair. I closed my eyes again and eventually fell asleep while cuddling with him.

~~~

I woke up late that next morning. Today would be the day I was going to the hospital to test my hearing and see which hearing aid or implants would help me the best.

My father carried me to the car and Sapnap went with me too. He let me lean against his chest as we went to the hospital.

~~~

We arrived around twenty minutes later and my dad put me down in the wheelchair he put in the back of the car. He rode me to the entrance and we went inside to the right place we had to be for deaf people.

I was called after only a few minutes. At least, I saw Sapnap sign to me that I was called. They drove me inside of a room and he started looking in my ear first to check if it was infected. He stopped looking after a while and he stood behind me for a while.

I got bored because I didn't hear anything and he came back again, showing me "tuning forks". He started making sounds with them, but I didn't reply to them since I didn't hear it.

Eventually, he looked at me and started signing.

'We are going to do a test with headphones. You're going to hear words and if you hear a word, tap the table.'

I nodded and got a headset, putting it down on my head. I looked around me in silence since I didn't know if it started already and he kept tapping a screen to turn up the volume.

I sighed softly and rested my chin on the table in front of me as I closed my eyes shortly. I wasn't suspecting myself to hear anything anyway so I silently waited until he turned it off again.

I looked at the screen and noticed he turned it up to 125 decibels. He clicked start as I suddenly heard something very quietly in my left ear. I tapped the table with an open mouth and lifted myself up.

'Can you tell me what it said?' the doctor signed.

'Repeat,' I signed back.

He clicked repeat as I tried my hardest to focus. I wondered why this wouldn't damage my ears but I figured they had a good way for that to test it without extra ear damage.

I lifted my hands again. 'Flower?' I signed with a questioning face.

'Which side did you hear this?' he signed again.

I pointed to my left ear and he took my headphones off, signing again.

'You're most likely completely deaf on your right side, or it works for five percent or less. There's something that's called bimodal hearing and I think this might fit for you. You'll get an implant in your head on the left side and a hearing aid on the right side. They will work together and produce a similar sound to how it used to be,' he explained with signs.

I nodded slowly and he smiled.

'I'm going to plan an appointment as soon as possible.'

'Thank you, doctor,' I signed back with a big smile.

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