Vagabonds

Chapter 5

Chapter Song: Kill Your Heroes by AWOLNATION

T/W: Mention of suicide

ALEX'S POV

It's been a week since I got back to this lovely group of ragtag teenagers. To say that I was itching to jump into the arms of flesh hungry zombies is an understatement. The only reason why they were able to convince me to stay longer is because they seriously have no survival skills. I'm no boy scout or anything but damn. What kind of life were these kids living? I've got a few religious and rich-kid friends myself but they weren't anything like this group. Am I just really unlucky?

Right now I'm watching John try to calm down Sarah. This is her third breakdown in a week. Everyone has tried to console her, but John being the group leader and all took it upon his shoulders to ensure that everyone was still keeping faith. Hence, the third pep talk about God's plan and keeping faith and all that uplifting stuff.

It worked the first two times but I could see that Sarah wasn't buying it anymore. Hence, her frustratingly pulling at her hair and walking away. John tries to go after her but I stop him.

"Let me." What the fuck are you doing, Alex? Welp, too late now. You're right beside Sarah.

"Hey." I stand there awkwardly. "I know it's hard to see the bright side right now. I know it's hard to find a reason to keep on living. And so easy to just give up. But you can't. You can't give up. Giving up means killing yourself slowly and that's just as bad as killing yourself instantly. And I'm not saying morally or religiously or whatever. I'm saying once you make that decision and it doesn't push through, it's going to haunt you for the rest of your life. No matter how good it gets. Even when you finally see the bright side. That decision will always stick with you. Trust me, I know. So don't give up. But most importantly, don't give up because I told you so. Do it for you. It's your life. Live for yourself. And no one else."

I don't know if I got through to her but she's hugging me now and crying profusely on my shirt. The room was silent except for her crying. Damn, I literally just confessed something personal to this whole room didn't I? Why do I have to be stuck in this pantry with nine strangers?

***

Shit. Don't tell me I have to do another one?

I make my way slowly to the corner where John is sitting staring at Sarah at the other end of the room. I would normally just ignore him but he's literally the only one sitting in a corner (aside from me) while everyone else is playing games to pass the time.

I slide onto the floor beside him.

"Hey, relax. You did good."

"But it wasn't good enough." He says dejectedly.

"It wasn't enough but it was still good."

"Why can't I be like you? You always say the right things."

"I just say the truth."

A short pause follows.

"Look, people respond differently depending on the situation. You just need to find the right method to go about things. You have to change lanes every once in a while. But that doesn't mean you have to change who you are. You're good enough. You just need to find a way to show yourself that. Showing others will come easily after that. So cut yourself some slack. Seriously, you need to get rid of those church boy slacks because you ain't surviving out there with that on. You need some joggers or loose jeans or something. I didn't find any of your size but I'm sure we can scavenge some from the corpses outside."

"I'm not stealing from dead people." John says quietly but with a lighter tone.

"It's not stealing. They're dead. They literally have no use for it."

"I don't know..."

"Dude, my whole outfit is literally from dead people." I laugh out and he eventually joins.

A/N: Writing is so therapeutic.