Vagabonds

Chapter 23

Chapter Song: Saving Grace by Kodaline

RILEY'S POV

This is it.

This is the end of what we first set out to do.

I'd never given much thought to going home. It was such a mundane thing to do. You leave home to go to school, visit a friend, go some place else to stretch your limbs. And then you come back to rest, recharge, remember the day you had just spent.

This is the longest I've ever been away from home. And I'm afraid that when I do come home, if I'll find rest like I used to.

"Hey, it's going to be okay." I feel a hand gently squeeze my shoulder.

I look up at brown eyes. The kind of woody texture you see in the forest when light shines on the rough edges of a tree bark. "I know," I smile at them. "I know I'll be okay as long as you're with me."

"Every step of the way." Alex pulls me into a tight hug, consequently securing the pieces of me daring to break off from the intensity of waiting. It lasted a second but it was enough.

"You ready?" John calls out from the back of the SUV as he loads the last of our supplies. Alex and I nod.

"Thanks again for letting us go on our own." I give John a hug, hoping I convey my gratitude with it.

"I'm still not entirely convinced but I know you're in great hands." John claps Alex's back and they both give each other reassuring nods.

"I'll bring her back just as we left." Alex says as we enter the SUV.

"You bring both of you back." John looks at Alex seriously, no doubt thinking about Alex's martyr complex.

"Well duh. I'm trusting you with the crew, Number One."

"Aye aye, Captain."

I laugh at their farewells. John was the most apprehensive when we first met Alex but now they're the closest, even bonding on sci-fi tv shows.

We give one last wave to the crew then head out towards my home.

***

"I'm sorry."

"It's okay. I wasn't really expecting much." I feel Alex's stare on me as I make my way back down to the living room. I sit down on the couch and pull a pillow to my lap, distracting myself with the tassels.

"We don't have to stay. I know it's painful—"

"It is." I cut them off. "But I need to face it. If there's one thing I learned since all of this happened is that there will always be pain and running away from it won't do any good. I'm honoring their memory by facing my pain. I'll remember my family, both the good and the bad times we shared."

I feel the couch dip as Alex sits beside me, taking the pillow off my lap and holding my hands in theirs. "I never got the chance to meet them but I'm sure they're proud of you."

A small smile forms on my face as I slowly look up at Alex. "They would've loved you."

"Even if they didn't, I'd make them." Alex smirks. Then suddenly, the playfulness in their eyes is replaced with an intensity. "Riley, I hope you know that even though your family is gone you still have another one. And we'll love you as much as they did. I'll love you."

Tears form in my eyes. The reality of never seeing my parents and brother again finally settling in. But somehow, in the mix of it all, grief was joined with happiness. Happiness at the relief of knowing that I'm not alone. That there's still love to give and receive.

"I love you too." I whisper softly as I lean in, never looking away from the pool of brown that has always seen me. I lean into that forest, running steadfast, but with a sound heart. I always thought that love was hearts beating wildly and butterflies trying to burst through. Yet, right now, all I feel is rest after a heavy day, a warm tea soothing my insides as the world is thundered with storms. I know this is love.

Soft lips meet my own. Our smiles breaking through the sadness. Gentle hands carrying all the pain with me. Our futures are unknown but this moment was all we needed to know that everything will be alright.