𝚂𝚝𝚊𝚛𝚜 |𝚃𝚜𝚞𝚔𝚒𝚜𝚑𝚒𝚖𝚊 𝚡 𝚏𝚎𝚖!𝚛𝚎𝚊𝚍𝚎𝚛 𝚡 𝚈𝚊𝚖𝚊𝚐𝚞𝚌𝚑𝚒|

CH16- 𝐌𝐲 𝐟𝐚𝐮𝐥𝐭

Yamaguchi's POV

♡︎♡︎♡︎

I'm sorry. This is all my fault. This all happened because of me. If only I didn't give up on my feelings that day, I could've saved [y/n] and Tsukki.

I admit, I had a crush on [y/n] back in elementary to middle school. She was always there for me. She never left my side. She had always tried to stand up for me back when I used to get bullied but ends up getting bullied as well. I felt so bad. I didn't want her to be involved with my problems. But she didn't care. She was selfless. She placed others first and never cared for herself.

Back on elementary, I had a high fever so my mom called the school that I couldn't join school for a few days. I guess my teacher told [y/n] about it so [y/n] went to my house right after class. My mom told her to go home but [y/n] didn't let my mom stop her. She knocked through my window. At first, I rejected but she kept knocking and knocking I just had to let her stop. I opened the window and she handed me some medicine and a pack of cooling gel pads. Before I could even talk, she climbed in the window.

"[y-y/n]! You're gonna get infected!" I whispered in a scrappy voice. She grabbed my hand and tucked me in bed, opening the cooling gel pads.

"Mommy said sick people needs rest and care. I'm gonna be your doctor for awhile Yams!" She whispered back, placing the sheet on my forehead as she smiled.

"But you're gonna get sick like me..." Cough! Cough! Cough!

Since my mom's workplace was so strict, she was not allowed to skip work. Though she was allowed to work at home until I got better. Mom would check on me often but still, I lacked care. [Y/N]'s mom works at the same place as my mom's and they became best friends. They introduced me to [y/n] one day and we became friends as well. But unlike [y/n], I couldn't be independent. At that young age, she learned so much things by herself yet I couldn't. So I usually stayed at her house when we were kids.

"I'm gonna be fine Yams! But YOU aren't. Say ahh" She spooned me a spoonful of yucky medicine. She giggled as I gag at the icky medicine that spread throughout my tongue. I fell asleep not long after. She climbed out of the window as soon as I fell asleep.

[Y/N] caught a high fever the day after as I had already gotten better. I guess you really can't blame anyone for crushing on [y/n].

She was caring, kind, calm, selfless, hardworking, and pretty. That didn't change when we met Tsukki, except the "calm" part of course. [Y/N] started to become more open and loud to adapt on Tsukki's personality and attitude. She probably did the same thing to me when we met as well.

I started noticing Tsukki learning to talk more casually towards [y/n] than me. And knowing Tsukki, he was never really open to people and love. I've decided to that I should give this chance to him. Surely I could find someone else but he couldn't. They look good together. They've always did. That's why I ignored these feelings until it disappeared at some point and met Yachi.

I was very disappointed when I knew [y/n] liked me all along when she could've chose Tsukki. Like seriously? Now that my feelings were finally gone? I really thought she liked Tsukki after all that time they spent together. Yet I still tried.

During the two months of Tsukki's abandonment, [y/n] was very devastated. She knew how to keep those feelings aside. It's crazy she hasn't fell in love with him yet. The feelings she felt for him were nothing but "brotherly" platonic love. She kept herself from visiting his house to not involve his mother as well. I was very mad at Tsukki but I was even mad at myself. Mad at myself for not trying enough.

Trust me. I tried loving her romantically again but I just couldn't. I loved someone else and that was that. It was too late to change things. She knew that and once again, she kept herself aside and allowed me to be happy by lying to me she was alright. And I was too stupid to believe her lies.

[Y/N] did everything to make me happy. To make me feel safe. Ignoring her own feelings to keep me happy leading for her disease to worsen which also led to her blindness. All of this. . . is my fault.

"No matter what happens, I'll make sure I'll keep you two happy! I'll be the hero to your civilians!"

"Pft hero? Really? You can't even help yourself when you cry over-"

"SHUT UP DIMWIT! I'M TRYING TO SOUND COOL HERE!"

"Well you sound pretty stupid to me."

Deep down, we both knew she could do it. She was always so strong despite being fragile inside.

Also [y/n] lost alot of blood so we needed more blood donations to keep her body up. It wasn't easy to find blood. Many people needed the blood as well so it usually keeps running out.

"[y/n]? [y/n] is that you?" I saw Tsukki slowly walking up to us while we were strolling around as she requested. His eyes were swelled with tears. He didn't look the same. Something was. . . off. He looked paler and skinnier or was it just my imagination?

They hugged. I couldn't help but tear up of happiness.