𝗣𝗶𝗹𝗹𝗼𝘄 𝗧𝗮𝗹𝗸 ─── 𝗔𝗹𝗲𝘅 𝗧𝘂𝗿𝗻𝗲𝗿 ༄‧₊˚ (EDITING)

・𝟎𝟑

page three.

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fascination

NEVER HAD I EVER WANTED TO DIE MORE THAN I DID AS MY MANAGER WENT ON AND ON about those compromising pictures are taken by people only looking for chances to light up a drama fire.

When I walked out of her office I was on the verge of tears. I felt the knot in my throat tighten more and more until I exploded in tears once again inside my car.

It felt like the hours were going by slower. The silence around my walls was starting to faze me into some sort of trance, like the ones Alex induces me into whenever he stares a bit too long into my soul.

His name went through my head like a shooting star. It was so absurd how only he could make me this mad, yet so amused. I hated how much I couldn't hate him. I knew it was easy for him to do so with me, though. I didn't blame him, as I also couldn't hate myself more than I do right now.

A faint knock gave me optimism that I would be able to break out from the trance I had been in for nearly three hours. When I stood up from my white couch, my legs felt shaky. I flung the door wide, eager to see who was on the other side.

''What the fuck'' I mumbled, my mouth open with lost eagerness, feigned lost eagerness

''Nice way to say hello, darlin' '' He cocked his head and smirked. I detested how only he could appear so appealing resting against the doorframe.

I rolled my eyes, knowing that as much as it hurt, he was the person I wanted to see. I let my pride take the lead in the situation and aimlessly flung the door closed again.

His firm grip interrupted my movement, and in under a few seconds he was close to my face again. The smell of his favorite cigarettes entered my nose gracefully. However, I suppressed my liking to this.

''Stop being a bitch'' Alex ordered me in a serious tone.

''That's like asking you to stop being a scum'' I scoffed, letting my grip loosen on the door. He took this chance and made his way inside my house. I cursed under my breath.

''Well, this scum brought you your ticket for Thursday's trip'' He said, taking off his oversized dark shades, and using his white shirt to wipe them.

Saying such a simple thing to process, while doing a show-stopping movement like that was unfair. If hadn't been captivated by Alex before, I definitely was at that moment. I composed myself and stuttered a little bit before replying.

''You shouldn't have bothered'' I muttered the first thing that came to mind, looking at the ticket he had just thrown on top of the coffee table.

''I wouldn't make a twenty-minute drive just to drop you off a ticket, you're not that special. I'm going to the bar with the guys. Gonna get hammered'' He smirked, putting his glasses on again.

''Hmm, doesn't sound different from any other day'' I mumbled, looking away from him.

''Being drunk gives me inspiration'' Alex flashed me a crooked smile, and from the way, he had slurred those words I could tell he already was a little tipsy.

''Not very good inspiration'' I sighed, taking my robe off and fixing my gray tank top.

''You're so intolerable. My blood boils when you say things like these. Just keep your mouth shut or I'll do for you next time" The lack of emotion dropped into that sentence was exhilarating, almost made me go weaker than I was.

''I'd like to see you try'' I scoffed, rolling my eyes.

''It'd be a cakewalk" Alex slurred some more. I could see his eyes getting darker even behind his glasses.

''You're not even close'' I mumbled, feeling my palms getting sweatier and sweatier by the second.

''Fuck you'' He said, slurring the 'f' audibly, before turning around and leaving the door opened just like I had done with his this morning.

''You wish you could!'' I exclaimed, knowing he'd heard me from the hall. His low drunken chuckle bounced on the walls.

The frustration kept going up, just like the wine pouring inside my glass. I sighed and chugged it all down. I had dimmed the lights to create another environment, but I couldn't feel any different than I had these past few minutes after Alex had left.

I made my way to my small balcony, having put on my robe due to the cold air hitting my face. Once seated, my eyes flew to the bar down at the busy street where he probably was at.

I tried a few different angles, moving around to find the one where I could at least see a fraction of his body or face. I stopped when I spotted him playing pool with Matt and some other blonde guy.

My night was made up of constant stares into his movements. Various hypnoses that I found myself in when the fantasies got a bit too real. I couldn't help but be mesmerized by the way his fingers gripped the stick.

How effortlessly he won in almost every round. The constant arch of his eyebrows when he was concentrated. It was all too overwhelming.

That was probably the first night Alex took a swim in my lake of dreams.