Toxic Free
by Angelica Espinas
Your echoing voice slowly subsides,
as if vanishing to the darkness.
My hands were shaking,
afraid of accepting the fact
that I was darkness itself.
I am the reason why you
found yourself lost.
I am the reason why you're
left there, confused.
I've done horrible things to you.
I stabbed you secretly,
when you thought I was there
to comfort you with a hug.
I faked a laugh,
when you're trying so
hard to make me happy.
I lied to you,
when I said we can try
working things out when deep
inside I thought it was a hopeless case.
I caused you deep pain, and yet,
all I can utter are words that will never suffice your anger or your grudge.
All I can say is sorry,
after carving spiteful words in
your head and in your heart,
all I can say is sorry.
I've been so bad.
I've been so cruel and mean.
And maybe I've said things I never meant.
But after driving you away,
I felt free.
And maybe I was just afraid that
I would break you into pieces.
I was just scared to let you stay knowing that I was never a permanent case.
Selfish, you may think of me that way.
You can hate me.
You can kill me in your heart.
You can forget my name
or remember it as a profanity.
You can go now...
And you should know it by now,
how it feels good to be away
from the toxicity that I bring
alongside my angelic name.
