The Representative

It doesn't matter

BEWARE:UNEDITED

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Rain's POV

I woke up due to the loud banging on my bedroom door, it was tuesday and all I had planned today was go to the library and re read my favorite books. I groaned when the person banging on my door wouldn't stop so I convinced myself as hard as I can to leave the comfort and warmth of my bed. I walked over to my wooden door and opened it,revealing my mother with a breakfast tray on one hand and the other to most likely bang my door again if I hadn't wake up any sooner. I raised my eyebrow at her and opened the door wider for her to come in, she set down the tray of pancakes, orange juice and a banana on my bedside table, turned to me,smiled then sat at one corner of my bed.

With my Mickey mouse pajama and bunny slippers I grew more curious at how she was acting then decided to sat at her right side on my bed. My mother had brown hair, and deep blue ocean eyes.She was just the right size and had a nice smile. She was an author but I wasn't into her books at all even though I admit that I'm such a nerd most of the time. She writes cooking books and I don't even know a thing about cooking but just that it's the process of making food, and I know food. A lot.

She smiled nervously at me then played with her fingers. And that was when I knew something was up. I've known my mother since I was a fetus. I do. Really. ..

"Mom,what's wrong?" I asked her. She looked down at her lap and didn't meet my eyes She was always like this when she was nervous, I among all people know that really well. She was acting the same way when she broke my laptop or ripped a page of my books.

"Honey, I-uh, I need to tell you something." she started.

'Go,on tell me' I encouraged her when she stopped all of a sudden, the next thing I knew she was already hugging me so tight that I couldn't breathe. She was crying though,I felt it. she buried her face on my neck,then continued sobbing. It was weird actually because I know my mother was weird and nevertheless emotional,But I haven't seen this side of her being emotionally absurd.

"I'm sorry Honey,it's just that, I can't think about you not being here with me?" She confessed. I rolled my eyes. Really? All of this commotion just because she can't stand a thought of me leaving and not being by her side I mean...

"Where would I even go than not stay with you here?" I blurted out. It actually made her cry more and I got a blurder picture of what was happening then. After mom finally got hold of a part of herself. She turned to face me. Her eyes puffy red already,her nose as well actually. Using both of her hands, she held me in place.

"You're leaving for school" She announced.

—

I've always been good at school. I always had really good grades and teachers practically think of me as their perfect little angel who listens to every shit they say, scribbling down important notes on my notebook and only talking to my seat mate to ask for a few question related to the topic we were learning from here to there. But the truth was. I was a great pretender. That was who I was. Scratch that,who I am. Yes,I do study but I don't spend every time I have just doing that. I don't expect for high grades, I always think I'll just have a good one. I'm not an angel, I throw eggs at houses of the werewolves who mess with me. I don't scribble down important notes, I doodle. I don't ask questions about the topic, I gossip. And that is the truth. Deal with it, accept it.

I was in the library reading a history book, hoping that I can fall asleep and forget about everything that has happened, and will happen. I want to get drunk by it's boredomness, I want to be welcomed by unicorns in my dreams. Absurd? I know. I get that from my mother.

I was about to flip to the next page when someone pulled the history book right off my hands. I literally knew who it was just by the sight of the bruises on her hands. The girl who fought the battle within herself. My best friend.

"EMERALD!" I complained. She stuck her tongue out then sat beside me, I was squatting down on the floor, letting a random shelf of books cover my petite body.

"I suppose you've heard?" She started the conversation, I leaned on the wall and shut my eyelids close. I was only letting my ear function right now, since I don't want my heart and eyes to do their work just for a minute, I don't want my eyes to see the situation I'm in to. I don't want my heart to break into a thousand pieces, when I know there are already cracks forming. I just want to hear everything, everything that's surrounding me.

"I have" I answered her. I can hear her sigh.

"I'm sorry" she muttered. I felt my lips forming into a smile. Emerald has always been the most caring one in our gang. No hint of sarcasm in there.

"It's not your fault,plus I'll have to do it anyway for the sake of not being a dissapointment' I told her. I heard her groan. She disagrees. I thought.

"What is with you and the scare of being a dissapointment? It won't make you happy. will it?" I open my eyelids and looked at her face. I looked into her eyes.

"It doesn't matter" No one cares, I thought again. Oh how many words have I left unsaid?